


Tough Love

by Ki113RQU33N



Series: BQ's Love Life [2]
Category: Impractical Jokers
Genre: Anxiety, Death, Depression, Drama & Romance, Explicit Sexual Content, Jealousy, Light BDSM, Major Illness, Multi, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-08-23 11:43:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 33,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8326606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ki113RQU33N/pseuds/Ki113RQU33N
Summary: *Note: If you have not read "Steamy Love", go do that right now. This is a sequel to that and you will be very lost if you skip it.*We come back to where we left off with our favorite joker ship, Brian Quinn and Sal Vulcano. It was just revealed to us by Faith Redmond that she is pregnant with Brian's child due to the two of them being forced into sex by her malicious abuser and manager, Simon Williams. Neither of them know what it takes to raise a kid, especially since they're not even a couple. And, of course, having Faith around at all brings out Sal's jealous side once more, and this puts a lot of strain on his and Brian's relationship. That's without adding a baby into the mix. Read on to find out how the two of them find out the true meaning of "tough love".





	1. Love's A Loaded Gun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The guys and Faith are confronted by her boss Simon Williams...

Brian’s POV

 

Shit.

Shit, shit, shitshitshitshit! “Fucking SHIT!”

“What’s wrong, Q?” Faith asks me, her voice heavy with worry. We’re all at my house now, hiding her from Simon, her boss, since it’s one of the few places she can go without being watched, supposedly.

“Isn’t that his car in the driveway?” I hold the curtain aside for her to look out the front window, but after two milliseconds she darts across the room and hides behind my sofa.

“Oh my gosh, do you think he saw me?”

“Well if the fact that he’s walking to my house with a fucking gun means he saw you, then yes, yes I do.”

“He’s got his GUN? Oh my god, guys, hide! Don’t open the door, just hide!” And of course as soon as she’s done saying that, something flies through the window pane and lodges itself in the far wall; barely missing Murr’s head and making him squeal. Everyone finds something to hide behind. Faith stays behind the sofa, Murr and Joe flip my kitchen table and use it as a shield, and Sal and I brace ourselves against my door to keep the son of a bitch from coming in. All of us are panicked, and yet somehow we all keep our heads on our shoulders. Bullets continue to fly through my living room and a few hit the other side of my front door, but none come through. Sal frantically phones the police, who claim to immediately dispatch several units.

“C’mon Faith, just come out and none of them will get hurt!” Simon yells while he reloads his firearm.

“Come in and get me, bitch!” She screams back at him. I’ll admit, she’s got some guts, but he kind of has a gun, and we kind of don’t, so I would really appreciate it if she didn’t antagonize him.

We hear him walk right up to the door and bang on it. “Awe, they won’t let me in. Looks like I’ll have to force my way in.” Before he finishes his sentence, I watch Sal, in what seems like slow motion, clutch his left hand, screaming. At first his reaction confuses me, but then I see the blood. The bullet had gone through the solid oak door and got stuck in his hand.

“OH MY GOD, SAL!” In my state of panic at seeing my lover hurt, I back away from the door and reach for him. But that gives Simon the opportunity to kick it in. Everyone’s attention immediately turns to him once more as he points the gun at each of us in turn.

“You can stop this right now, Faith. Just come with me. I know you’re pregnant, I know you tried to hide it. But there’s no need for that!” He’s not yelling so much as talking in an excited tone; as if he’s explaining that he has a surprise for her. “We can raise it together, and have more kids after that! One big, happy family, living an amazing life! That’s all I’ve been trying to show you all along!”

“ARE YOU KIDDING?” Joe yells at him from the dining area. “After all you’ve done?! There’s no fucking way!”

But then Faith does something that I never, not in a billion years, would have expected her to do. She stands up from behind the sofa smiling and says, “Really? You really mean that? Tell me more!” He starts to go on and on about how he’ll be a good dad and their kids will love them, blah blah blah. It’s not until a couple minutes into his rambling that I realize the reason for her actions. The more he talks, the lower his gun goes, and the less he pays attention to anyone else. So, me being the only one that’s sort of behind him (besides Sal but he’s out of commission), I slowly move closer in a crouching position. The second I can reach it, I yank the gun out of his hand, turn it on him, and…

I watch the life drain from his eyes, like the blood from the back of his head. “Don’t play with guns, bitch!” I’m not sure why I said that to a dead body, or at all for that matter. Let’s just blame the adrenaline, shall we?

The house is eerily quiet. My cats must be in my basement or something. Even Sal, who’s hand is still bleeding profusely, has managed to stifle his sobs. I look around at everyone, only to find that each of them are staring back at me with blank expressions. Then I look down at the pistol in my hands, and that’s when the panic sets in. My heart starts racing, my breathing gets heavier, and suddenly I get very lightheaded. The world starts to spin out of my focus.

And then it’s just black.

 

**************

**How’s** **_that_ ** **for an opening chapter?**


	2. I Can't Do It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian wakes up on the way to the hospital and has a little chat with Faith.

Brian’s POV

 

I think I’m moving. I think someone’s talking, and there’s lots of beeping noises. Now someone else is talking - Sal. Then the other person, then Sal. He’s worried, and I don’t like that one little bit.

Finally my eyes open, but everything is going in and out of focus and my head is pounding. “Sal?”

“Brian! He’s awake!”

“Yes, I see that,” comes and irritated female voice. “Brian, can you hear me?” I nod. “Can you see me?” A few seconds later I manage to focus my sight and find that I’m in a moving ambulance, laying on a gurney. Sal and the paramedic are both staring at me.

“Yeah?”

“I’m going to help you sit up. Come on - there ya go.” When I get situated and the nausea goes away, I look at Sal.

“What’re we-” Then I notice his hand is being tended to by another paramedic. “Oh god, Sal, your hand!”

“I’ll be alright. Hopefully…” I can see that he’s trying to be brave for me, so as not to scare me, but I can see the fear in his eyes. “I’m worried about you. Are you okay?”

I think back and remember why I’m in an ambulance at all. I had fainted because I… I… A heart monitor starts going crazy; probably because it’s hooked up to me. “DID I JUST KILL SOMEBODY?!?!?!”

“Babe, shut up!” The medic had hit a particularly sore spot on his hand and he winces. “Joe, Murr, and Faith are talking to the cops right now. We’re claiming self defense - my hand is enough evidence for that, let alone having several witnesses. There’s no way you’re going to jail, so chill out.”

“CHILL OUT?! Sal, I just shot someone! I  _ shot _ someone!”

“I understand that, but you were protecting people! Murr, Joe, Faith, your unborn  _ child _ even! And me! He was trying to hurt each and every one of us, and you ended it. You’re a hero, really.”

That’s cool and all, but he doesn’t get it. You don’t just kill someone and walk away from it feeling like a hero. Don’t get me wrong, I’m relieved that everyone else is okay, but… I’m not okay. Not at all.

We arrive at the ER shortly after that conversation/freak out and are both lead through some hallways; Sal walking and I in a wheelchair. I insisted that I’m alright to stand, but the nurses explained to me that it’s protocol for stuff like this. Anyways, since all I did was faint, they focus mostly on Sal’s hand. A quick surgery was performed to remove the bullet, and now I’m sitting next to him as he lays on a hospital bed, high as fuck from the pain meds. Joe, Murr, and Faith show up shortly after.

“So Sal,” Joe starts, “How’s that hand doin’?”

“I don’t feel anything, motherfucker.” Sal always did become more paranoid and angry when he got high. So I answer Joe’s question more thoroughly for him.

“There was some nerve damage and a couple fingers broke at the knuckle, but nothing that won’t heal up in a few weeks.”

Suddenly Faith bursts into sobs. “This is all my fault!” This is so unexpected and no one knows what to do, so we don’t do anything. That is until she storms out into the hallway and Murr turns to me.

“You should go talk to her.”

“What? Why me?”

“Because, uh, well she is pregnant with your kid. Imbalance of hormones and everything, y’know.” Oh, right. I had nearly forgotten about that part; pushed it to the back of my mind, actually. I’m still not sure what to think of it, other than I’m definitely not ready to be a father; especially with her as the mother. But Murray’s right, so I follow her out and find her sitting on a cheap sofa with her head in her hands. Sitting next to her I awkwardly place my hand on her knee, but she flinches so I pull it away.

“Hey, I… I know how you feel.”

“No you don’t.”

“Maybe I don’t, but I do more so than others.”

She looks up at me with angry, bloodshot eyes. “You think only slightly being aware that you’re being raped is bad?” The calm, daringness of her voice stumps me. Of course it’s bad! But… “You wouldn’t even be able to imagine what he’s done to me. I would never wish that upon you, but now you are a part of this shit, and that’s the worst part for me. Knowing that you’ve had the smallest taste of what I’ve went through… that’s what’s eating me.”

“And you know what eats me?” She doesn’t answer, but instead keeps staring at me. “Seeing you in this pain, and knowing that I can’t do anything to help. I hate that you’re pregnant by me without making the choice. Our relationship didn’t last, and it wasn’t much to begin with, but it was enough for me to care about what happens to you. And our kid. So excuse me if I don’t know everything, but we are going to have to be adults and talk to each other if we’re going to be parents together.”

Finally, the anger dissipates from her eyes only to be replaced by sorrow and guilt. “I’m sorry. But… Q, I can’t be a mother. I’m not ready…”

“I’m not either, but we’re both gonna have to suck it up and learn fast.”

Before I can continue, she’s shaking her head no. “It’s not just that I’m not ready. I’m not fit. I don’t make enough money, I’m constantly busy with school, and now I don’t even have a job because there’s no way in hell that I’ll continue working for that bar. I have no friends or family to help me, either. Besides you, of course. I’m just… I can’t do it Q. I can’t.” A choked sob escapes her as her head goes back into her hands.

“Hey, hey there, shhh…” This time she doesn’t flinch when I put my arm around her. “It’ll be okay. I’m not one of those guys to not pay child support.”

“Q, you’re not gonna pay child support because you’ll have full custody. I’m sorry to just dump this all on you, but it’s what’s best for our baby.  You have to raise it; not me. I’ll help where I can…”

“W-what?” It was one thing thinking we were going to have equal custody, but now she’s not going to do anything?

“You heard me.”

“Faith, the kid will need it’s mother. Whether you like it or not, we’re  _ both _ stuck in this mess, and we can’t let the kid suffer for it.” She can’t make me do this on my own, that’s not right.

“Brian, don’t you get it?!” Again, she looks up at me frustrated. “I’m not financially, physically, or mentally okay to be a mom! It’s not that I don’t  _ want _ to; I want nothing more than to have a big happy family. I’m not even upset that I have to share it with you and probably Sal. But I  _ can’t do it _ right now! And the court is going to tell you the same thing when we go in for all of this. They’re not going to allow me to have custody. It’s either going to you, or foster care, and I do NOT want it in foster care, and I’m pretty sure you’re on the same page. Right?”

She is making a lot of sense. If she’s really in that big of a rut right now, our baby will have to live with me. Of course I’m okay with that… I just didn’t think I would be so alone. “Yeah… you’re right… Just… let me know if you need anything.” I go back into Sal’s room, and I think she leaves because she doesn’t come back in.


	3. Good Dreams

Brian’s POV

 

The doctors let Sal go that night, but he’s still a little loopy, and holy hell it’s fucking hilarious! Normally, when Sal is high around me, I’m high with him so I’m not entirely aware of just how stupid he sounds. But tonight, as we’re watching TV in his bed, he keeps making stupid observations and comments that make no fucking sense and I feel a painful stitch in my side from laughing so much.

“Babe!” he says.

“Yes?”

“Did ya fuckin’ hear me? Owl’s are da bomb animals! I’ll ask mom for one. Not for me, they’re fucking filthy. You have it, okay?”

I chuckle. “Okay, Sallybabe. I got it. But I’m not sure how my cats will react. They might try to eat it.”

“Cats don’t eat birds, they battle them.”

“Yeah but either way, that’s not good. I don’t want any animals to get hurt.”

“They’ll be fiiiiine.”

“Whatever you say, my love.” I peck him on the lips then return my attention to the TV.

“Bri, can we have sex?” That question makes every fiber in my body freeze. 

“Not now, Sal. Not while you’re high.”

“But we haven’t had sex since we had sex!” he whines at me. There’s no way I’m going to fuck him right now, and there’s absolutely no way I’m going to talk about it while he’s so out of it.

“I know, but I’m really tired. Can’t we just go to sleep?”

Thankfully he doesn’t make a huge fuss of it. “Yeah, sure. Love ya, daddy-o.” He rolls over and almost instantly the heavy sound of his breathing fills the space, especially since I had turned the TV off. 

“I love you more,” I whisper into the silence of the room. But his daddy-o comment had brought Faith’s news back into my thoughts. Was I really about to become a father in just nine short months? I mean, I’ve always wanted kids, but I honestly didn’t think that I would have one that’s my own flesh and blood. Considering Sal and I can’t have kids together since we’re both dudes, I figured we’d just adopt, and even then I didn’t think it would happen very soon at all. For all we know, we could decide to just be friends in a couple of years and both go about our own lives with someone else. Who knows?

Oh, who am I kidding? There’s no way I could live like that. Now that I have Sal, I can’t imagine not having him. I love the man sleeping peacefully next to me with every cell in my body. Everything about him; his paranoid, hilarious personality, his beautiful and sexy body, the way we just know each other so well in every way… we’re honestly perfect for each other. It’s like God - if there is anything like an almighty being - made the both of us specifically for each other and no one else. I love Sal so much, and I know I wouldn’t be able to live without him. Not anymore.

Listening to his deep breathing is like a lullaby to me, and my thoughts begin to slow and become meaningless as I enter that weird state between sleep and wakefulness. Then the things I think about start to turn into wonderful dreams. At first I dream of simply staring at Sal’s face in numerous places; our living rooms and bedrooms, parks, and the middle of absolutely nowhere just to name a few. No matter where we are, he remains the same gorgeous Sal -  _ my _ gorgeous Sal. But then someone else joins us; a baby bundled up in my arms, and suddenly I find that I can’t get enough of either of them. The face of the baby isn’t clear so I can’t tell if it’s a boy or a girl, but I honestly don’t care. I don’t care because it’s my baby.  _ My child. _ One particular dream shows Sal smiling at the little angel before he gently runs his hand through the soft hair, and tears suddenly threaten to spill from my eyes. It seems so real that I forget I’m dreaming. I forget every bad thing that’s ever happened to me because that’s how much happiness I’m feeling at this very moment as Sal takes the white bundle from my arms and coos at it.

“I love you, Bri,” he says while still looking at my baby.

“I love you more.”

He looks at me and responds with, “I love you, but you need to wake up.”

“Huh?”

“Wake up Brian.” I slowly start to do as he tells me; against my will, of course.

“I don’t want to, I want to stay here with you, babe.”

“Brian, I’m right here, wake up and you’ll see.” My eyes open to find that Sal is hovering just inches above my head; his warm smile beaming at me. “There ya go, babe. Sleep well?”

“Yeah, I had a really good dream.”

“I could tell.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can tell if you’re dreaming, having a nightmare, or not dreaming at all. I’ve been able to for a long time.” He settles back into the bed and cuddles up to my side; his face snuggling up to the crook of my neck as I wrap my arm around his bare body. We simultaneously let out a content sigh before he continues speaking. “If you’re having a good dream you tend to breathe less and more slowly, and your mouth twitches. Sometimes you actually smile or laugh. But this time you cried a little. What was that about?”

The emotions from the dream are still lingering, and that coupled with the fact that he pays that much attention to me almost brings the tears back. “I was just so… happy. I was with you, and my… my kid. We were together, just being happy. And then you held him or her and just… It was so fucking beautiful. That’s why I was tearing up.”

I feel his head turn to look at me, so I look down at him. “That sounds wonderful. I want that. I want that with you and only you.”

“Same here, my love. I want the same thing.” Positioning himself above me, he looks deep into my eyes for a moment, and I look back; piercing green into deep brown. And when he lowers himself to kiss me, our hearts, minds, and souls become one. The kiss quickly becomes very passionate, and then it turns from a loving, chaste kiss to a lustful dirty one. Tongue and all. His fingers curl their way into my hair and pull slightly while my hands instinctively explore the hot flesh of his back. He breaks the kiss and moves to work on my neck, making me moan involuntarily. I feel him shiver against me and his erection is now poking me in the stomach.

“Brian,” he whispers into my ear, “I need you. Now. I need to taste you, to feel your hot, soft walls around my hard cock, to feel you fill me completely… I need you.”


	4. Please Just Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something's up with Q and he won't talk about it... at least not with Sal.

Brian’s POV

 

Images start flooding my mind; some that I know, and some that make absolutely no sense. All of them were of that night behind the bar, and the panic swiftly replaces the joy I had felt mere seconds before. “Sal, stop,” I whisper back to him.

“What was that, my love?” He nibbles on my ear as his hand inches down my body. I grab his wrist and accidentally squeeze a little too hard as I yank it away from me. “OW FUCK!” Of course that was his bad hand.

“I said stop!” Pulling back and looking at me, I can see the confusion and hurt in his eyes, and I feel bad because the love and lust are now gone. I can’t stop thinking about that night and my breathing picks up as I remember the pain and sorrow etched onto her face as she’s forced to do one of the most sinful things on this earth to me. “Get off of me!”

I feel Sal shoot up and stand at the end of the bed in his boxer shorts; hurt, worried, and favoring his injured hand. “What the fuck is going on?!” he yells back at me.

I just barely stop the tears from overflowing. “I’m sorry! I wasn’t - I couldn’t - I didn’t mean to say that, I’m sorry!”

“Then what  _ did _ you mean to say? Because you’ve avoided having sex with me for a long time, Brian. Why? Am I not good enough for you anymore?” He pauses and then his emotions turn into anger. “Do you want  _ her?! _ ”

“What? NO! Sal, it’s not that I don’t  _ want _ to have sex with you,  _ I can’t! _ ”

He throws his hands up in the air as he heads towards the bathroom. “Wow, that’s much better, thanks!” Upon reaching the bathroom, he enters it and slams the door, resulting in a flinch from me. His blind jealousy hurts. A lot. Especially considering the things she and I have recently been through. 

“Can’t you be a little more understanding?” I call through the door.

The toilet flushes and the sink runs for a bit before he finally flings the door open again, still very pissed off. “How do you expect me to be understanding when you don’t help me understand a damn thing?! I don’t know what’s going on in your head, and you won’t tell me! So I’m sorry if I’m an inconsiderate asshole for trying to have sex with my boyfriend!”

“You know what, you are an inconsiderate asshole! Why the fucking hell would I be depressed for weeks when you  _ actually _ cheated on me, and then turn around to do the same thing to you?!”

“Well what else am I supposed to think when you reject me like that?!?” That question stumps me. My brain is screaming at me to talk to him like a couple should, but my mouth refuses to form the words necessary to explain my feelings. I’ve never been good at that anyways, let alone when something that traumatizing happens. So what do I do? I don’t say anything; instead grabbing my pants and shirt from the top of his dresser and getting dressed. “Now what are you doing?”

“I’m going home.”

“What - no you’re not! Talk to me, Brian! Do you even want me anymore?!” he asks, very exasperated at this point.

“Of course I do! I love you to death, and I don’t want her! When you finally understand that and  _ trust  _ me, call me.” I quickly make my way downstairs and out the front door before he can say anything else, not wanting to face his harsh accusations any longer.

 

Upon arriving at my house I sigh heavily when I see the boarded up broken window and all of the caution tape. Not being allowed to go through my living room due to the police and analysts being everywhere investigating shit, I make my way around the back and through my back door, which puts me in my kitchen. I find my cats upstairs under my bed; looking petrified from all of the strange people and noises downstairs.

“There there, guys, c’mon out, daddy’s home.” Eventually I get Chessie, Brooklyn, and Benjamin out, but Ayah refuses to listen to my coaxes.  _ Oh well, she’ll come out when she’s hungry or something.  _ Sure enough, as soon as I bring up their food and water dishes from downstairs and the three older cats start feasting, she slowly crawls out and begins to nibble on a couple choice pieces of tuna and cheese. I absentmindedly scratch behind their ears as they eat and let my thoughts tumble around my mind; none of them really making all that much sense, until my phone goes off in my pocket. Checking the caller ID I see that it’s Faith and reluctantly swipe the screen to answer before bringing it up to my ear. “Hello?”

“Hey um… Can I come over for a bit?” She sounds like she’s been crying. I hate hearing that sound.

“Why? Are you okay?”

“I don’t know… I just had my first round of morning sickness and I’m really tired but I keep having these horrible nightmares… Please Bri, I don’t have any other friends, otherwise I wouldn’t ask this of you. I know Sal gets really jealous, but he doesn’t have to be because I’m not trying to win you back, I just… I can’t…” She stops talking and the line goes silent except for a couple sniffs and coughs on her end. “Can I please just come over?”

Against my better judgement I say yes, and not much later there’s a knock on my back door, which I answer. “Hey, c’mon in. We can’t go in the living or dining area, but you can come into my bedroom or the TV room downstairs. Either one is fine with me.”

“Thanks,” she mumbles before stepping inside and making her way to my basement with me following. We situate ourselves on opposite ends of the same couch and she grabs a pillow and holds it close to her chest. “I haven’t thrown up in a long time, it was really gross.”

I’m not really sure what to say other than “I’m sorry. Do you need anything? Water, medicine?”

“No, I already got it taken care of.”

“Do you wanna talk about anything?”

Her whole body somehow seems to sink into the couch further, as if she’s willing herself to just morph into it. “Do you… do you have nightmares too?”

“No… not while I’m sleeping anyways.”

“What do you mean?”

Did I really want to tell her? Tell her how weak I am, how stupid it is that I can’t even stand the thought of sex with anyone anymore? I couldn’t even tell Sal, and I trust him more than any human being on this planet. But… she would probably understand the best, simply because she was there with me. It’s like there’s this weird connection between us now; it just saddens me that it’s not on better terms.  _ Here goes nothing. _ “I… well I can’t um… I can’t have sex anymore…”

“You mean, because you keep thinking about it?”

Unexpected tears roll silently down my cheeks as I remember Sal from not so long ago this morning. Faith puts the pillow down and scoots closer to me but she doesn’t touch me; probably trying to show that she’s there for me but not wanting to overstep her boundaries. “He thinks it’s because I don’t want him anymore; that I only want you.”

“Then why don’t you talk to him?”

“I just can’t. I’ve never been good at explaining myself or my feelings, especially when it’s something that he simply can’t understand.”

“You need to talk to him, Q. He’s your boyfriend, he deserves an explanation. And you never know, he might be more insightful than you think.”

“I suppose you’re right…” I sniff one last time and wipe my eyes dry. “Faith?”

“Yeah?”

“What about you? Can you still…?”  _ How the hell do I ask her  _ that?

“Have sex? Q, you’re the only man I’ve ever been with. Well, Simon did some pretty nasty things, but to me that’s not being intimate at all. I don’t count that. So… I don’t know, I haven’t tried.”

“Oh.”

We kind of just sit in an awkward silence after that. A couple of my cats come down, wanting attention, so we pet them and scratch their ears, but it’s pretty quiet until Faith finally breaks the silence by yawning. “Holy hell, I’m tired.”

“Then why don’t you sleep?”

She gives an empty chuckle that shows just how stupid that idea is. “I haven’t gotten more than two or three hours of sleep a night in weeks, Q. That’s kind of what happens when you close your eyes only to see the same things that you see when you’re awake. It’s like a never ending nightmare that won’t go away.”

“If you don’t mind my asking, how long has this been going on? How long had he been hurting you?”

“The nightmares started after that first horrible night… not too long after you broke things off with me. That’s when he started working there. At first I thought he was just trying to get to know me, and we went on a date or two.” Suddenly she gets all choked up and a sob escapes her. “That was the worst decision of my fucking life.” Very quickly she’s taken over by big fat tears as she begins to hyperventilate. In an effort to try and calm her I close the distance between us and wrap my arm around her shoulders, and she turns and buries her face in my chest; soaking my shirt. I hold her like that and rub her back for what seems like forever, until my phone buzzes on the coffee table, causing both of us to look over at the caller ID flashing on the screen.

 

*************

**Do you think Sal’s being a little irrational, or is his reaction understandable? What about Q and Faith’s talk? Are you happy that they both are finally getting it out of their system, or is it weird that she’s even at his house at all?**


	5. Court Really Sucks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone goes to court to fight for Q's rights. Afterwards, Sal and Faith have a little chat.

Brian’s POV

 

I answer the phone and a man’s voice begins to speak on the other line. “Hello, is this Mr. Brian Quinn?”

“Yes?” I have no idea who this guy is, and Faith is looking at me with a puzzled look. I just shrug at her as I continue to listen. The call goes on and it turns out to be a secretary just telling me when I have to be in court to sort out Simon Williams’ death.  _ Fuck. _ Mere seconds after I get all of the information I need and hang up, Faith gets the exact same call.

“Q, I’ve never been to court…” she says after her phone call is over as well.

“I haven’t been for anything like this, but we have to go if we don’t wanna end up in prison.”

 

_ *A few days later. Faith is nearly 4 weeks pregnant* _

 

Sitting in the courtroom, waiting for everything to start is the first time I’ve seen Sal since our last fight, other than at work. Not seeing him has been excruciatingly difficult, and I miss him. I’ve started having nightmares every night just like Faith and am now extremely sleep deprived because of it, which is not good when you’re about to spend several hours defending yourself against murder charges from some random guy’s family. Our lawyers tell us that we have a very good case and will most likely win, but still, you need to be in the right frame of mind, and I doubt the majority of us are.

I hate every single second of being in that room. Having to watch the Williams’ testify, and then my friends, then Faith, and finally I get a chance to defend myself.

“Mr. Quinn,” the Judge starts, “you have many people against you, and many people with you. Could you explain to the court what happened the night that Mr. Simon Williams died?”

“Of course Your Honor.” I proceed to tell them every detail that I can remember, and it’s almost the exact same story that everyone else told, except that they forgot to mention that when I shot Simon, he wasn’t actually in the act of shooting at us anymore, and that for some reason makes the jury go crazy until the Judge calls order.

“Your Honor, permission to speak?” Our lawyer, who is a woman named Kimberly Hughes, stands up from her seat.

“Permission granted.”

“Might I point out that yes, Mr. Quinn did kill Mr. Williams, but regardless if he was in the actual act of firing at innocent people, Mr. Quinn still had the right to do what he did.”

“Objection!” cried the Williams’ lawyer, who is getting increasingly frustrated by the second.

“Denied,” the judge says and gestures for Ms. Hughes to continue.

“It was all in self defense.” Now she’s not only addressing the judge, but everyone in the room. “Mr. Salvatore Vulcano was actually injured by one of Simon’s bullets - you can see his hand now, and I also have the doctor’s reports. And if Mr. Quinn had simply disarmed Mr. Williams, assuming he would have been able to keep the gun away, who’s to say that he and the rest of my clients wouldn’t still be in danger? They didn’t know if he had a second firearm or a knife or any type of combat training. Either way, it was still self defense, not only was he defending his friends, but also his unborn child.” The fact that Faith and I have a kid on the way had yet to be brought up and there’s an audible gasp from the jury. “That’s right Your Honor, Simon Williams forced Mr. Quinn and Ms. Redmond to have unprotected sex with each other on the night of May 17th, and now she is with child. Here is her test results and ultrasounds that proves she had sexual intercourse that night, and I’m sure my clients will testify for this.” She hands some papers to the Judge, but he barely touches them before the other lawyer - I think his name is Tom McGregor - shoots out of his seat and declares just how ‘preposterous’ this is.

“Mr. McGregor, I will  _ not _ stand for this disorderly conduct in my court!” roars the judge before finally looking over the documents and then turning to me. “Is this true? Did he force the two of you to have intercourse?”

“Yes, your honor, he did.” A few more rounds between our lawyer and the lawyer for the Williams’ occur, and some more people testify and evidence is brought to the stand, but it’s just like Ms. Hughes said; we have a strong case, and eventually, after countless hours, we come out on top and no one has to go to jail.

 

The five of us walk out of City Hall, beat and quite depressed.

“Well, that went well,” Joe says, trying to lighten the mood. But it doesn’t work.

“That was fucking horrible, Joe,” Sal retaliates. “I mean, we just sat in there for hours when it’s clear that we’re all completely innocent. It shouldn’t have taken that long.”

“It was necessary to make sure Q didn’t land behind bars,” Faith points out in a futile attempt to make Sal see the bright side.

“I know that, thanks.” Why does he have to be so sarcastic and rude? Thankfully Faith doesn’t acknowledge his brash comment, but unfortunately she asks me something that makes Sal go really red in the face.

“Bri, can you give me a ride home? I ran out of gas on the way here.”

“Actually, I have to go home and clean up my living room now that they don’t need it for evidence. Sal, can you take her home?” Yes, I put him on the spot on purpose. This could end up being very bad but hopefully they can actually talk and clear some of the air between them.

“What? You want me to take  _ her _ home in  _ my car? _ ”

“You live closer to her than any of us, and you still seem to have a problem with me being anywhere around her. So stop being a prick and take her home, please!” My outburst surprises everyone; including myself.

“I can walk…”

“No, just get in the damn car.” Sal leads her away to leave me, Murr, and Joe alone in the parking lot next to my jeep.

“Dude, I could’ve given her a ride,” Joe states.

“Same here,” Murr adds.

“No, they need to talk. That’s the mother of my child and he’s just going to have to deal with the fact that she’s going to be around more and that I have to help her, so he might as well start being nice now.”

 

Third Person

 

The silence in Sal’s car is deafening for the first couple minutes of the drive, other than the navigation speaking on Sal’s phone. Hating the tension that’s between them, Faith decides to speak first. “I know you hate me and the situation we’re in. Believe me, I hate it too. What can I do to make it better for you?”

“Stay away from Brian.”

“Sal, I don’t want him.” Her revelation seems to shock the older man next to her.

“Y-you don’t?”

“No! I haven’t wanted him since he broke things off with me. Even if the two of you broke up, I wouldn’t want him back. He’s a great guy and all, but I don’t give people a second chance to date me. I did that with my first boyfriend and it didn’t end well either time, so I’m not about to make the same mistake twice. And in case you haven’t noticed, neither of us have even seen each other until that night, and that was only because he spotted trouble. He never wanted any of this… and neither do I.”

Sal suddenly swerves onto a side road and stops, almost giving Faith whiplash. He turns off his car and phone before turning to her with a very serious look on his face. She seems to be willing to give him answers that Brian isn’t, so if Brian wants them to talk, then he’ll talk.

“What the hell was that?” she exclaims, referring to the reckless driving.

“Tell me exactly what happened that night. Right now.”

“What? Hasn’t Q already told you?”

“Not in detail, no. Faith, something’s bothering him, and if it’s not you then I don’t know what it is, and he won’t tell me. I can’t help him if I don’t know. Please, Faith…” They stare at each other for a few moments, piercing green meeting with icy blue, the only light illuminating their faces is the gold bulb from the streetlamp overhead. Sal will not take no for an answer, not when it comes to helping the love of his life, and Faith knows that. How can she deny the love that these men have for each other when it’s so clearly displayed on their faces twenty-four seven?

She sighs heavily before looking out the windshield; not being able to look at him as she finally actually talks to someone for the first time. “Simon always abused me in every way he could. Hitting, yelling, raping, making me do shit for him that was downright repulsive… You name it, he did it. And it wasn’t uncommon for him to take me out behind the bar to give me a good beating or make me suck him off while he waved his gun around. When I saw that Q had followed us, a sense of doom settled over me. I tried to warn him; to tell him to run while he still could, but he wouldn’t leave me there. And then Simon hit me again and Brian jumped at him in an attempt to protect me, but at that point it was too late because that’s when the gun was pulled out again, and Brian froze. Simon told him to do exactly as he said or else he’d hurt me, and again I tried to get Brian to save himself, but being the brave idiot that he is he said ‘do whatever you want with me, just don’t hurt her’ and Simon stuck a fucking needle in his neck.” By this point Faith is crying and Sal’s almost there with her. She has to pause to recompose herself before continuing. “Brian was out of it. He didn’t pass out yet, but he was extremely high and unable to move after he fell to the ground. That’s when… that’s when he made me do it. He pointed the gun to Brian’s head, told me he’d kill him if I didn’t fuck him, and whacked off when I did as I was told. He fucking got off on me raping your boyfriend!” Her tears are suddenly hot streaks of fury as they roll down her cheeks, and Sal looks pretty pissed and revolted himself. “And then we just left him there! I managed to zip up his pants but otherwise I was dragged into Simon’s disgusting car and… and I’m not gonna tell you the rest.”

“That’s fine, I don’t need to hear it if you don’t want to tell me.” The two of them continue on their way, once again in silence. The navigation instructs him to pull into the driveway of this run down house, and Sal’s surprised when Faith actually gets out and starts to thank him for the ride. “Wait, you live  _ here? _ ”

“Uh, yeah?”

“But… it’s so…” It could almost pass for a haunted house. The paint is peeling, windows are boarded up, and the yard is completely overgrown.

“I know it looks like crap, but I keep it as clean as I can. I just don’t have the money to actually fix it up. Good night, Sal.” She shuts the car door but suddenly Sal doesn’t feel too great.

“Faith, wait.” He gets out of the car after her and without thinking embraces her in a tight hug.

“What the hell is this for? I thought you hated me?”

“Yeah, and I feel like shit for it.” Pulling away, he looks into her eyes once more and for once sees her for the innocent girl that she truly is, and has been all along. “I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you. I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it up to you, but I’ll at least try to stop being such a fucking dick. And… oh god, how am I going to apologize to Q?” One of his hands reach up to rub his eyes as a bout of stress takes over his body.

“He told me about not being able to have sex.”

This time it’s Sal’s turn to sigh. “I’m such a jackass… I got angry with him when he rejected me the other day, and we got in a huge fight and have barely spoken since.”

“Do you at least understand why now?”

“Sort of. Wait, how did you know about that anyways?”

“Uh, well, I went over to his house and we talked for a bit.” When Sal tenses once again, she adds “It was just talking, I swear. And some crying… Sal, you have to understand that I’m the only one that truly understands what he went through, and he’s the only one that has an idea of what I went through. For him, the simple thought of sex takes him back to that night and it scares him all over again. Just give him time, okay?”

He nods and they hug one last time before Faith goes inside and Sal starts on his way home. He’ll have to talk to Brian tomorrow, and this time he won’t be such an ass like he usually is.


	6. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sal confronts Q with a couple of things and has a solution.

Sal’s POV

 

I didn’t ever expect to be this nervous when talking to Q. But here I am, sitting on his sofa late at night, watching his anxious face as I try so hard to think of how I want this conversation to go. The atmosphere is very tense, something that I don’t appreciate one little bit, as it only makes things harder.

Finally, Q breaks the taut silence. “What did you wanna talk about?”

I visibly and verbally sigh before attempting to look him directly in the eye to show how serious I am. “I’m just gonna say this outright; I’m not trying to start a fight. I’m simply trying to understand whatever’s going on.”

“Nothing’s going on,” he says quickly, making it very obvious that there is indeed  _ something _ going on.

“Babe, I… Faith and I had a long, deep talk on the drive to her house.” How it’s possible for him to stiffen even more at my words is beyond me, but he does. But didn’t he want us to talk and make up? He’s so fucking confusing sometimes. “I… well first I’d like to say… I’m sorry. I’m sorry for how I’ve treated her and the situation.” His eyebrows furrow together in confusion as he tries to process what I just said, so I continue. “As your boyfriend… I should trust you more, and I see now that she… well everything - it’s not her fault - ugh  _ fuck me! _ ” My words stumble out of my mouth in random gibberish and I bury my face in my hands in embarrassment and frustration.

“Sal just spit it out. What do you think of her?”

An irritated groan escapes my throat before I can stop it. “I can’t help but be jealous of her. I know that sounds fucked up because she’s been through so much and is now pregnant and lives in a shitty house. I know that neither of you wanted any of this, but I hate that the baby belongs to the both of you… not you and me.” My head raises up from my hands as I look to him; his eyes looking defeated, sorrowful, and depressed, and in that moment all I want is to hold him close and destroy everything that is causing him to be this way. Myself included, if necessary. “It should be  _ our _ kid,  _ our _ house,  _ our family. _ That’s all I’ve ever really wanted; it’s all I’ll ever need. I just… I just don’t know how I’m going to cope with the fact that it’s hers and not mine.”

The gears turn rapidly in his head as he takes a minute to think and run his hands through his hair. When his gaze turns back to me, it seems that his mood has lifted just a little bit - not much, but there’s something there that brings the tiniest sliver of light to his otherwise dark eyes. “Sal, she doesn’t think she’ll be a big part of the kid’s life.”

“W-what? What do you mean?”

“I mean she’s giving me full custody. The two of us have had a couple long chats as well, but Faith knows that she can’t support it. It will live here with me, and she won’t even get weekends or anything like that.”

“But… Bri, as much as I don’t want her around, the kid needs a mom.”

At that the sorrow returns to his eyes, but it’s different; not like he’s upset about the situation he’s in, but more like he feels terrible for her. He shifts his weight on the couch, scooting to the edge to face me better. “Like I said, we’ve had our talks. The other night when she came over here, she stayed for fucking hours, and although she didn’t go into detail about the things that Simon Williams put her through, I could tell that it’s going to take a lot of therapy and a hell of a long time for her to recover mentally. I… I really don’t want my kid around that, and neither does she, so we decided that it’s best this way. But you are right; the kid needs two parents.”

“So what are we going to do about that?”

“Well… I was hoping that you would uh… maybe move in with me?”

The question was one I’d been hoping would come up for quite some time, but it still takes me by surprise. And to be honest, I’m not sure I’m ready to move in with him. “Are you sure? ‘Cause I really don’t want to move in with you just because you need help with something. Moving in with your significant other is never something that should be rushed; it’s something you both agree on when you both believe the time is right to make that step in your relationship.”

“Sal, I think I’ve been ready.”

“You think?”

“I don’t know, I just feel like we’ve been together long enough-”

“Well I don’t,” I accidentally snap, and the hurt flashes in his eyes, immediately making me apologetic. “Okay I didn’t mean to be so rude. But I don’t feel ready, is what I was trying to say.”

“Well what the fuck do you want then?” he exclaims in slight frustration. “You say you just want a happy life with me and possibly kids, and now that I’m offering that you don’t want it.”

“Babe please, I’m not trying to fight. Yes, I want those things, but… I don’t know, it just kinda scares me now that it’s staring me in the face.”

Alright, I don’t think I need to go over the whole conversation, because it’s pretty much just us going back and forth repeating the same shit over and over, but eventually we just agree to disagree. Which leads me to the next topic.

Tired and a little irritated, I say “Well now that that’s out of the way, I need to ask you something else.”

“What now?” He looks like he was just about to get up and my statement obviously is preventing him from that.

“Sorry, but I just… I need to know. Do you… Are you comfortable with having sex anymore?” Aaaaaaaand cue the freeze. “I get it; you went through something horrible, and-”

“Did she tell you?” he asks so quietly that I almost miss the question.

“What?”

“Did she tell you? What happened, that is?”

I hesitate to try and see how he will react, but I can’t even guess. “Yes, she did. She told me exactly what happened.” My eyes tear up just thinking of him being hurt like that. “So please just be honest with me. Are you comfortable and if not then what do I have to do to help you?”

“Fuck I wish she didn’t tell you…”

“Babe, I needed to know what’s going on and you wouldn’t tell me.”

“That doesn’t make it her fucking place to tell you!” he shouts.

“Please stop yelling, she didn’t mean anything bad by it. I practically begged her to tell me, and I think it was also her way of getting it out of her system because I doubt she really has anyone  _ to _ talk to. Now please answer my question.”

“Of course I’m not fucking comfortable! And I have no idea how to make it better.”

Suddenly I get an idea. “Bri, do you trust me?”

“What kind of a question is that? Yes I trust you!”

“Then let me try something.” I don’t wait for him to answer, instead I scoot closer to him on the couch until our legs are touching, then I lean in and our lips connect in a small, chaste kiss. The both of us close our eyes and exhale into the kiss; every tense muscle relaxing and all of our pent up emotions pouring out through the kiss. We both pull away briefly and just stare deeply into each other’s souls, and I think we finally understand the other man entirely - or at least more than we have in a while. “Be honest, do you truly trust me?”

“Yes,” he says in a breathy whisper.

“Then I need you to promise me something. I’m going to start making out with you, and maybe add some foreplay - don’t worry, I won’t try sex yet,” I add when he tenses again. “But I need you to promise me that you will tell me as soon as it gets bad, and I won’t continue. This is just to find out what you can and can’t do, so that I won’t mess up in the future and hopefully we can work past this together. Okay?”


	7. The First Sonogram

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sal and Brian finally figure something out that works for both of them and later on Brian and Faith go to their first ultrasound together.

Third Person

 

Just as he had said, Sal gently kisses Brian again with the utmost care and love, hoping to eventually get to the root of his problems and end them. Brian responds like he usually does and wraps his arms around Sal’s neck, slowly pulling them closer together so that most of their upper bodies begin to morph together. The room was already warm to begin with, what with it being the beginning of summer, so that coupled with their combined body heat causes beads of sweat to form on their brows. Normally they wouldn’t care, but this time it’s beginning to make Q especially uncomfortable, so he pulls away gasping.

“What’s wrong?” Sal asks, hoping to God that his boyfriend is okay.

“It’s fucking hot in here.”

Sal gets up and opens the windows but leaves the curtains closed so as to ward off any wandering eyes from the street. As he turns around he swiftly removes his shirt and sits back down next to Q. “Can you take your clothes off?” Q nods and strips down to his boxers, enjoying the breeze that’s coming through the open panes and letting the other man’s eyes sweep over his slightly hairy torso and very hairy legs. “God you’re so beautiful,” Sal whispers, making Q blush at his praise.

“C’mere babe.” Q lays down and coaxes Sal to hover above him before bringing their lips together once more. This time Q feels Sal’s tongue brush over his upper lip, so he parts them just enough for Sal to explore every centimeter of his mouth. Both of them moan deeply as they start a mini battle where their tongues are the soldiers.

This continues for a good twenty minutes, by which time Sal feels like he could explode at the slightest stimulation, but he doesn’t want to rush Brian. He finally breaks the make out session and looks at Brian to gauge his reaction. Right now he’s looking pretty flushed and breathless, and his member is standing at attention, in return turning Sal on even more. “Do you feel anything? Do you want me to stop?” he asks, searching the other man’s face for any sign of pain.

“I feel amazing, please don’t stop,” he manages to gasp out. As requested Sal begins to kiss him again, only this time it’s on his neck. When Brian doesn’t object, Sal gently bites a particular spot that he knows drives him insane and then sucks and licks it to soothe the initial pain, leaving a giant red mark. When Sal’s finished marking his territory he slowly moves down Brian’s body, leaving little love bites in his wake. Arriving at Brian’s nipples he gives each one a little flick of the tongue, knowing that Brian doesn’t like too much stimulation there, but just a little is enough to jolt him. Then he continues on his way southward.

Every wet mark left by either Sal’s lips or tongue feels like it’s a thousand degrees fahrenheit, but this time the heat doesn’t bother Brian. That is until Sal is just above the waistband of his shorts, and suddenly Brian is sweating and panting profusely, and not in a good way. “Wait Sal…” Immediately Sal stops and looks up at Brian, but doesn’t move from his position at his crotch.

“I’m not going to hurt you, I love you with all my heart and I would  _ never ever _ hurt you. You need to believe that.”

“I do, it’s just… Maybe just use your hand?”

“Whatever you want, baby.” Sal slips his hand into Brian’s shorts slowly so he has time to refuse the pleasure if he needs to. But Brian doesn’t, instead he just stares up at the ceiling and tries to regain control of his breathing. He never does actually achieve that since Sal’s fingers are now swirling his precum around his tip, and eventually they wrap around the top part of his shaft and then slide down his entire length before coming back up again. “Is this okay, Bri?” Sal asks gingerly.

“Mmmm yessss,” he moans in return before suddenly sitting up and pushing Sal down so that Brian is now on top and Sal is on bottom. Before Sal can even register what’s happening, he’s completely naked and Brian has his entire cock in his mouth and is sucking really hard.

“Oh god!” Sal yells as the intense pleasure sweeps through him over and over again. Every head bob and every stroke of Brian’s tongue has Sal’s cock throbbing more and more, and it actually starts to turn slightly purple from the pressure that’s building up in the pit of his stomach. And this is only after a minute or so! “Bri, stop! I’m gonna-!” But it’s too late. Sal’s words catch in his throat, instead coming out as an animalistic roar from deep within his chest. His hands fly to Q’s hair, pinning his head so that he can’t move away from the warm liquids filling his mouth.

As the last few spasms run through his body, Sal releases Brian’s hair and looks down at him apologetically. “I’m sorry, it’s just been so long…” he pants out.

Brian sits up and smirks at him, licking the last few drops of cum from his lips. “Don’t be sorry, you deserve to feel that good.” He gets up and starts towards the stairs that lead to the top floor, causing Sal to look completely confused.

“Wait, where are you going? Isn’t it your turn?”

Brian sheepishly turns around, his face a bright red. “No need to. I, um…” He gestures to his boxers and then to the couch; both of which have a pretty big wet spot on them. “You were so fucking sexy, it just kind of happened.”

“Babe, did you cum in your pants?” Sal asks, astonished. When Brian gives a small nod, Sal simply just chuckles and stands before moving over to his beloved. “Let’s take a shower and clean up.”

Strangely Brian didn’t take off his boxers when showering with Sal, but Sal didn’t question it. He figured that tonight was a good step in the right direction and he didn’t want to set Brian back with another confrontation. They cleaned the living room up and used a mini steam cleaner on the couch before heading upstairs to bed together, both only dressed in fresh underwear (they both kept a bag of clean clothes at each other’s houses for occasions like this) and cuddled under the sheets. They both fell asleep as happy as can be.

 

_ *Fourth of July, Faith is seven weeks pregnant* _

Brian’s POV

 

Today is a really big day. First of all, it’s the Fourth of July and Casey is having a big party at his place with lots of fireworks and shit. Second, and most importantly, is Faith’s first ultrasound, and she was kind enough to ask me to come. Actually, she practically begged me to come, but she really didn’t need to. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

Pulling into her driveway I see her house for the first time, and I’m shocked. Sal wasn’t kidding when he said she lived in a shitty house, and I understand that much more why she refuses to raise the child. I don’t think any adult would feel secure living there; let alone a child.

I don’t mention any of this to her, feeling like it would be incredibly rude, inconsiderate, and generally unnecessary to do so. Instead, as I back out onto the street and head to the facility, I ask “So, you excited?”

“Yeah, but I did just get done with the most horrible vomiting session I’ve ever experienced, so I apologize in advance if I’m not overjoyed.”

Glancing over at her I see that she is indeed very pale, with a slight greenish tint to her face. “You still get morning sickness? Hasn’t it been a few weeks?”

“Actually in this stage it’s completely normal. But you’re right, I did start with the puking a bit earlier than most. It usually doesn’t start until you’re six weeks in; I started at about three and a half.”

I’m surprised at her revelation. “Haven’t you seen a doctor about this? Because that’s kind of concerning.”

“They just said that some women start earlier, especially if they’re stressed, and then gave me some pills.”

“And you’ve been taking them?”

“When I remember,” she says quietly, as if expecting me to scold her.

“And how often is that?”

“I don’t know…”

“Faith, I don’t want you or the baby to be unhealthy. Can you promise me that you’ll set an alarm on your phone or something? Or should I call you every morning?”

“No, no, I’ll set an alarm. It’ll be fine.”

We arrive at the facility then and check in at the counter to be called in by a young man roughly twenty minutes later. He shows us to a room and instructs Faith to lay on the table while I sit in the chair next to her, and I just think to myself how crazy it is that I’m actually doing this when I never thought I would be privileged enough to be a father one day. I hoped for it, yes, but I didn’t think my dream would become a reality.

The gentleman fetches a woman doctor, who starts to ask us some questions while she washes her hands and puts on rubber gloves. “So how are mother and baby doing? And of course father,” she says with a relaxing smile, which is nice considering how anxious Faith seems to be.

“Uh, well, I feel really gross, to be honest,” Faith says. I simply state that I’ve been alright.

“Well it’s good that dad is fine, but can you tell me more about how you’ve been feeling? Any vomiting?” Faith continues to give her the whole spiel about how she throws up every morning and night, and sometimes throughout the day as well, and she wonders if this is normal because she’s never come across a woman that puked this much on a regular basis. “That much vomiting is a bit excessive, does your medication help at all?”

“I do forget to take it sometimes, but I find that when I do take it I lose my appetite even more. There’s been days where I don’t eat anything.”

“That can happen, especially if you’re stressed. I’ll prescribe you something that will help with that. Anything else?”

“Yeah, I’ve been bleeding. Not spotting, bleeding like I’m on the third or fourth day of my period.”

“That’s surprisingly not uncommon and usually isn’t a bad sign. Sometimes that happens during the time that you would normally start your period, but I’ll make sure to check on that before you leave today.” The woman asks a few more questions before prepping Faith for the ultrasound; rubbing a weird looking gel on her stomach before turning a computer on and pressing the little device to her abdomen. It takes a few minutes, but finally the doctor smiles and points to the screen where a white blob had appeared. “And there he or she is! Here you can see the head developing, and there’s the umbilical chord and…”

I don’t hear her voice anymore as I zone out and stare at the screen, trying to take it all in. I’m actually seeing my child before it’s even born, along with it’s heart rate. My own heart starts to feel like it can pound it’s way out of my chest while my eyes threaten to build up some tears, and I know that this is a moment that I will never,  _ ever _ forget. A moment that I’ll remember every single fucking time I so much as glance at my baby, for as long as we both shall live and longer.

“Brian? Brian!” Faith’s voice breaks my reverie.

“What?”

“Do you want a copy of the pictures or not?”

“Yeah, of course I do,” I say matter-of-factly.

Now I’m not one to frame pictures and display them around my house, but these definitely deserve a spot on my bedside table.

 


	8. *You Decide!*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This isn't a normal chapter.

**Hey guys,**

**No, this is not just another chapter, but it is important.**

**I have no idea what the gender of Q's and Faith's baby should be, so I'm gonna let the wonderful people of Archive of Our Own vote! Just write "boy" or "girl" in the comments, or PM me. If you want, you can tell me why you want one or the other. I'll pretty much let this go on until we find out what the gender is in the story (whether during an ultrasound or at birth. I haven't decided that either. Maybe that could be another vote) and then obviously after that the voting will be over.**

**FYI, I do post this same story on another website, so their votes will be counted as well.**

**Okay, so on a more serious note, is anyone else as heartbroken as I am over Q's recent injuries? The video that was posted online just about made me cry (which is a difficult thing to do. I don't cry very often at all). If you don't know what I'm talking about, you can look Q up on facebook or twitter, or watch the Nitro Circus Spectacular episode that they did. I also just listened to a TESD podcast where he explains that he might not get all of the feeling back in his hip (I am behind on TESD so I might've missed an update). Kinda makes you realize that celebrities are just like us; they get hurt, they get older, and I hate it. Ugh!**


	9. Gross

_ *About 10 weeks pregnant* _

Brian’s POV

 

Sal called out sick from work today, which is really bad because we were going to film his secret punishment, but since he’s kind of gone, we had to cancel and everyone (besides the editors and people like that, because there’s still stuff for them to edit) got a day off. But it’s also bad because, well, he’s sick, and I really don’t like the thought of him being sick.

Getting into my jeep but not starting it, I decide to text him to see if he’s alright.

Me:  _ Hey babe, you need anything from the store? _

His response is almost instant.

Sal:  _ I don’t wanna get you sick, don’t worry about me. _

Me:  _ I’ll be there in an hour with food. _

Sal:  _ No! I’m all sick and gross, don’t come I’m fine! _

Me:  _ Too late. Love you. _

Yeah, there’s no way I’m not going to do  _ something _ . What kind of a boyfriend would I be if I didn’t help him in his time of need? Heading over to the small grocery store near his house, I grab a variety of soups, crackers, sprite, vitamins, his favorite ice cream, and of course antibiotics and painkillers. I’m honestly not that good at this kind of thing, but this is always what my mother got me when I was sick, and it seemed to help me then. With any luck he’s the same way. Getting back into my car I pop a couple of the vitamins to avoid catching whatever bug he has, and then drive to his house. He opens the door, and to be blunt, he looks terrible. Pale, clammy skin, everything. I physically feel my heart melt into a pool of sadness at the sight.

“Awe babe, go lie down and I’ll make you some food,” I instruct as I push my way into the house.

“Q!” he coughs out, revealing his sore throat. “I told you not to come over!”

“Just let me make you some food and give you antibiotics and I promise I’ll be out of your hair. Okay?”

“No it’s not okay.” But nevertheless, he seems to realize that there’s no getting rid of me until I’ve completed my mission. Either that or he doesn’t have the energy to argue with me. Regardless, it enables me to do what I came to do.

Fifteen minutes later sees me getting him to sit up and putting the soup, crackers, and sprite on a tv tray in front of him. “Here, take these first,” I say as I shake the necessary amount of pills and vitamins out of their containers. He takes them and begins to eat slowly. Not really wanting to leave just yet, I turn the tv on and flip through the channels, but there’s really nothing on so I go to the DVR menu and find one of Jeff Dunham’s stand up shows. The guy has always been an inspiration to me as a comedian, even though he’s a ventriloquist rather than, well, a hidden camera show. That and he’s so fucking hilarious, the four of us get stitches in our sides every time we watch him.

“So this is your way of staying regardless of what I ask?” Sal says in a small, weak voice.

“Well, I wouldn’t say it that way, but sure.” Not having any more fight left in him he simply finishes his food and then curls up on my lap; one of the many cute things he does.

 

A couple hours later I wake up in a similar position to my phone buzzing in my pocket. Blindly reaching for it, I accidentally poke something soft and really hot, and that something - which turned out to be Sal’s face - jumps up and falls to the floor with a thud. “Oh my god, babe, are you okay?”

“Yeah - fuck, ow!” I help him back onto the couch and get some ice for his head before finally looking at my phone screen to see three missed calls from Faith. Upon calling her back she answers almost immediately.

“Hey Q.”

“Hey Faith, what’sup?”

“I just lost my job.” She says it so quickly I have to ask her to repeat herself. “I’ve missed so many days this year, what with everything that happened before, and now that I’m pregnant I’ve been super sick almost everyday.” Her voice had remained calm, but now I can hear a hint of desperation and panic creep into it. “I don’t know what I’m going to do, Bri. I haven’t been able to make it to school but I still have loans that I need to pay off for it, and obviously I need a place to stay. I don’t know what to do!”

“Shh, shhh it’s okay, we’ll figure it out. You’re not going to lose your house. We’ll try to file for unemployment, get you food stamps, anything you need, I’ll make sure you get it. I’m not going to let you or our baby suffer, I promise.” My words make Sal’s head turn in confusion since he can only hear my side of the conversation, but I ignore him for the moment. “Will you be okay tonight? Do you need to come over and talk?”

“That would be nice… when?”

“I’ll come get you in a bit.” We say our goodbyes and hang up, then I turn to a red faced Sal, but I’m not sure if he’s red because he’s sick or upset about something. “Babe, you okay?”

“Faith?” is all he asks. I nod, and he sighs before speaking in his raspy voice. “I know she’s carrying your kid and isn’t feeling well, so I’m going to allow this. But I swear to fucking god, Brian, if I hear anything about you two-” he’s cut off from me kissing him passionately, then quickly pulling away. “What the fuck?”

“You don’t have to worry, my love. I’ll call you later tonight and in the morning to check up on you. You’re the best, you’re my whole world, and I love you.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It sucks, I know, but I’m not really sure what to write atm. At least Sal is keeping his jealousy at bay, finally. Any and all ideas are welcomed.
> 
> PLEASE comment with plot lines and such. Thanks!


	10. Klarinette

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BQ learns something new and interesting...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please listen to this music as you read the beginning. It sets the tone quite nicely. https://youtu.be/6MECXWJh6LI

Brian’s POV

 

My hand was poised to knock on her door, and then froze. Music was playing; a beautiful, haunting melody that came seeping through the rather large cracks in the door. As the tempo picked up slightly I found myself opening the creaky door to a square living room with a shabby, brown couch in the middle. Some strange looking cases litter the floor and the tiny coffee table, along with sheets and books of music. A tall bookcase - stuffed full of huge novels - a fireplace, and a small window with ripped curtains are the only things that takes up space on the otherwise bare, paint-peeling walls. The room is gray, kind of like the sky on a cold, cloudy day, and has a hollow atmosphere. An archway leads to another part of the house, but I’m not concerned with any of that. My focus is on the girl sitting on the couch (facing away from the front door). She’s the one responsible for the gorgeous tune, judging from the fact that she has some sort of wind instrument in her hands and mouth.

Slowly she stands up and begins to walk around with her eyes closed; her feet stepping lightly with the music, somehow avoiding everything on the floor. When the music swells, she moves her whole body with it, and her face is always reflecting the sorrowful feel of the song. It’s not a dance, but she visualizes what the music makes me feel.

And then there was silence.

The black instrument fell away from her lips and is now by her side, hanging from her grip, and she opens her eyes to stare out the dingy window. A little sunlight is shining through, illuminating parts of her face and casting a large shadow behind her. She has never looked so beautiful as she does right now.

A soft “Wow” escapes my mouth and she jumps, clearly not aware of my presence until that moment.

“Oh my gosh you scared me Q!” Faith yells and proceeds to attempt to catch her breath.

“Sorry! I thought you heard the door.”

“I did but that door opens on it’s own all the time when I don’t bolt it. Holy hell…”

“Yeah,” I look it up and down. “You need a new door, it looks like.”

“No freaking durr, genius. I need a lot of new things, but does it look like I have the money for it?”

We need a change of subject, so I bring up the music. “That was really beautiful, by the way.”

My praise makes her blush a deep velvet red and look down at her feet. A small “Thanks,” is mumbled so quietly, I have to strain to hear it.

“That’s a um… A cl...clarinet… riiiight?” She nods. “I haven’t really listened to much clarinet, other than the occasional stupid Squidward at Joe’s or my brother’s house, but I’m pretty sure that if I had, that would be one of the more gorgeous songs. What’s it called?”

At that she glances up at me before starting to clean the instrument and put it away. “It’s from a movie called  _ Beyond Silence _ . It’s one of my favorite movies and the main character is a clarinetist.”

“Oh, well that’s cool. Do you have the movie?” I did come over here to cheer her up and help her, right?

“Yeah but I don’t have a TV or a computer to watch a DVD on. And I really need to find a new job, and fast. Before I lose my shell of a house, preferably.” With the instrument now stored safely in it’s tattered case, she turns to me and seems to hug herself in an anxious sort of manner. An urge to go over and hug her builds in my stomach, but I know better than to let it take over. A simple embrace could ruin so much…

“Why don’t we watch it at my house? And we can worry about finding you a job tomorrow, it’s getting late, we’re both tired, and you’re stressed out so there’s no sense in starting the hunt tonight.” I turn towards the door slightly to emphasize my suggestion, and after a brief moment of hesitation, she complies and follows me out; grabbing a sweatshirt and keys on the way. The door is locked, and we’re off.

 

_ *Later that night* _

 

Faith fell asleep on my lap nearly half way through the movie, much like when Sal did so many months ago when our love was just beginning. The memory made me nostalgic but also a little guilty. What would Sal think if he saw us this way? Maybe he would be fine since we’re not doing anything… Never mind, he’d be pretty upset. I need to get her to move… besides, I need to go to bed too.

“Hey,” I gently shake her shoulder and her eyes flutter open. “The movie’s almost over.”

She sits up, stretches, and yawns, in turn causing me to yawn. “Sorry. I’ll call a cab home.”

“Orrrr you can just stay here. You can have my bed, I’ll stay down here.”

“What? But that’s your bed, why would I take it when I’m perfectly capable of getting myself home?”

“Because I have a day off tomorrow so we’ll start the day off with breakfast and then immediately transition into job hunting, so it’s a waste of gas for me to take you home then pick you up again and you shouldn’t spend your money on a cab right now.” Am I really asking her to stay the night?  _ Idiot! You’re supposed to avoid this shit! _

“Fiiiiiine,” she groans. “But I have to take a shower if you don’t mind.” I get her a towel and show her where everything is.

“Sorry, I only have guy shampoos and shit.”

She beams a smile at me and chuckles. “It’s fine, I loooove Old Spice. Especially on men.” Oh, so she likes how I smell?

I leave her to it and fetch some blankets and a pillow for myself. There’s no way I’m going to make her sleep on the couch. Despite what others might think, I’m not an animal. But just as I was undressing and crawling under the comforter, I hear a very faint, distinct moan… coming from the bathroom. At first I don’t think much of it, but it continues, and gets louder. Clearly Faith is being a little naughty with herself, and my cock is anxious to do the same.


	11. Skype Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Q is desperate and calls Sal to "help him out" with his "problem" ;)

Sal’s POV

It’s the middle of the night when I wake up on the couch. Again. This fever really sucks ass. I’ve been repeatedly waking up in a cold sweat all day and night. I take my temperature once again and am relieved to see that my fever finally broke and my body is cooling off, but I still feel like shit.

Then something unexpected happens; I get a skype call on my laptop from Q. Why would he be calling so late? I sit down with a glass of water and my laptop and answer the call. His face and naked torso appear with the white material of his couch behind him.

I clear my throat as best as I can before I say “ Hey babe, why are you calling so late?”

“Fuck, you sound so sexy…”

“What- are you drunk?”

“Sal I’ve had one beer, a couple hours ago. I’m just saying that you sound sexy when you’re sick.”

I study his face to see if he’s lying, but I don’t come away with drunkenness. “You’re horny, aren’t you?”

“Yeeeeah, maybe a little.” He doesn’t even blush. Bastard.

“Babe, I’m sick, I can’t do anything.” As I’m saying this I see a figure come out of the bathroom behind him and head to the kitchen, and when I realize who it is, I’m speechless. Actually thoughtless is probably more or less the word.

He glances behind him when he hears her and then casually says “She’s staying the night so we can go job hunting tomorrow. We watched a movie and that’s why we’re up so late. But um…” He gets that uncomfortable look about him that I see so often, considering our job. He begins speaking again in a hushed tone. “She was… I think she was masturbating in the shower and, well, I don’t wanna cheat on you.”

It takes me a minute to contemplate what he’s trying to say, but I think I eventually get it. “So you called me to have skype sex or something?”

“Pretty much. You don’t have to do anything; I can get off with just your voice, if need be. But I figured you’d rather me call you than get off to her voice instead… God, that sounds fucking awful.”

“Just as long as you don’t actually do it… I get that you still like women. I do too, in fact. So as long as you don’t actually, y’know, get off to her, then you’re right, you can call me whenever to take care of you.” I add a little wink at the end to show him that I really mean it. Yes, it makes me uncomfortable that she’s even there, but I think the fact that he reached out to me shows that he’s not doing anything wrong.

“Oh my god, thanks babe!” Relief washes over him and smooths his features, allowing the hornyness to fully take over, and holy fuck does it look sexy! Even in my ill state, my cock twitches at the sight.

“So what do you want me to do? Talk to you? Touch myself?”

“Fuck, anything, Sal. I don’t care, just do  _ something _ .”

 

Third Person

“Well someone’s desperate.” Just then Sal gets an idea. “Do you know what I would do if I were there and you were this desperate, lying so vulnerable on the couch?”

“No. What would you do baby?”

“I would strip for you. Slowly, one by one I would remove every piece of clothing, and-”

“Do it, Sal.”

“Huh?”

“Strip for me, please. If you’re up to it.”

Sal hesitates before answering him. “Make sure Faith won’t see…” Brian gets up, sets his laptop on the coffee table and goes to the kitchen. Obviously Sal doesn’t like that she’ll see Q in his boxers, but Q’s never been one to care, regardless of who it is. A couple minutes later she comes into the view of the camera and stops when she sees Sal’s face on the screen.

“Oooooh I see what’s going on. You two have fun!” She winks and hardly makes any noise as she ascends the stairs.

“What did you tell her?” Sal asks as Q sits himself back down.

“Believe me, I tried to be discrete about it, but she’s too smart. But I wouldn’t worry about it, she’s very respectful of people’s privacy. Now, where were we?”

“I was gonna strip for you. But I’m gonna add a little somethin’ somethin’. You can’t touch yourself. Not until I say so. Got it?”

“W-what?” Brian looks and feels utterly confused at this. He didn’t expect Sal to really get into it right now. Really he was just going for a quickie. But hey, neither party seems to be complaining. In fact, Sal actually gets up and turns the stereo on low to set the mood. It comes across a little staticky on Q’s end, but nevertheless it accomplishes it’s purpose. With the camera perfectly angled to capture as much of Sal’s body as possible while standing, he slowly begins to sway his hips in little thrusting motions.

“No touching.” His body continues to move and roll, and Brian’s cock continues to get harder and harder. “Mm… you like this babe?” Sal’s hands explore the parts of his body that he knows Q would like to play with as he lets the music wash over him.

“Yes…love it,” Q practically purrs as the longing builds in his chest. Sal’s shirt is removed and Brian feels really lucky to be one of the few people Sal actually feels comfortable doing this with. Even when Sal was with a girlfriend before, he didn’t like showing himself to her and always had to have the lights off during sex. But now? He would fuck Brian in broad daylight, as long as they were alone.

“Tell me what you want, Bri,” Sal demands as he ‘accidentally’ lets a hand just briefly slip inside the waistband of his pajama bottoms.

“I…” Brian’s at a loss for words at the sight of his handsome, sexy boyfriend.

Suddenly Sal begins to slow his movements almost to a complete stop. “Tell me or you won’t get anything.”

“You… touch yourself…”

“Aaaaand?”

“Touch yourself and just… I don’t know, use some dirty talk.”

At that Sal smirks at him before once again slips his hand inside his pants, but this time he leaves it there. Q can see that Sal’s massaging the tip of his cock from the small, tiny movements through the material. “Let me see how big you are. I love it when I can see your huge, juicy cock.” Q angles the camera down a little so Sal can see his boxers. “Nu-uh, that’s not good enough.” Sal watches as Q’s hand slowly pushes the material away and his dick springs up at attention; not straight up, but curving to the side a little bit. Sal shivers slightly at the memory of how Q’s shape fits him perfectly and is always able to quickly find his prostate. Without realizing it this sight and memory causes Sal to use more pressure on himself and a little precum squirts out and coats his fingertips. “Fuck,” he moans, “do you know what seeing that does to me? It makes me think of how roughly and perfectly you fuck me. When you orgasm inside of me… God, and then I can feel you throbbing afterwards… Fuck!” He can’t help it anymore. Sal needs his release, and he needs it now. So quickly he yanks the rest of his clothes off and begins to furiously stroke himself. “You can touch yourself now, love.”

Before the words are even completely out of his mouth Q already has his cock in his hand and is following Sal’s lead, although he’s not going quite as fast or as hard. Sal doesn’t notice this though. It’s been so long since they’ve actually had sex. The most they’ve done together is some really dirty foreplay, and it’s been driving Sal absolutely insane. He needs this.  _ They _ need this. Sal’s hand speeds up even more, and before he knows it his vision goes blurry, his hot cum shoots out all over his hands, and inhuman noises escape his throat.

The intense orgasm subsides eventually and he’s able refocus his attention on Q, but it looks like he doesn’t need to, judging from the fact that Q’s sitting there looking extremely flustered, and his erection is already going down.  _ Damnit, _ Sal thinks to himself,  _ I missed watching him orgasm. Oh well, at least he’s got what he needs now, and I can go to sleep. _ “I love you, Bri.”

“I love you too Sal,” Q says between his shallow breaths. “Goodnight and thanks.” They hang up but Sal can’t help but feel like there’s still something wrong. The look that passed over his lover’s face right as the screen went black was just… He can’t put his finger on it, whatever it is.


	12. The Gender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sal has a little heart-to-heart with Joe and Murr, where he reveals something important and they try to help him. Later, we finally find out the gender of Q's and Faith's baby!

_ *About 16 weeks pregnant* _

Brian’s POV

 

Weeks later sees Faith with food stamps and a claim for unemployment, but it isn’t nearly enough to support a pregnant woman with loans. I actually had to help her with last month’s rent; much to her embarrassment. We’re not really sure what to do from here, other than find her a job that doesn’t require physical labor and will accommodate to her when she’s sick. So far nothing has come up, and it continuously stresses her out, so in an effort to cheer her up and take her mind off of shit I invite her on set with the guys and I. We’re filming outside in Time Square since it’s such a beautiful summer day, and since we have Faith with us we’re doing something special.

“Today we’re in Time Square doing something a little different,” Murr starts us off.

“That’s right, our friend here Faith Redmond will be with us today, pretending to be our girlfriend,” I say as I gesture to her.

Sal picks it up from there. “The other guys will tell us what to say and do, but the catch is, she won’t have an earpiece, so if she doesn’t go along with whatever we’re doing, it’s a thumbs down for us.”

“And,” continues Joe, “as always, if you refuse, she’ll kick you to the curb!”

Sal is the first one to go. “Sal, go up to this couple and ask them what’s the proper way to kiss a girl,” Murr demands. I look at him, wondering what could possibly be going through his tiny little brain, and he glances back at me with a sinister smile. This had better be good.

“Excuse me,” Sal calls as he drags Faith along with him. “Could you guys tell me what the proper way to kiss a girl is? I’m sorry, I’m just kinda new at this.”

Faith and the girl snicker a little while the guy just looks pretty confused. “Well, you can just like, peck her on the lips or somethin’. Or you can french kiss her.”

“And what’s a french kiss?”

“It’s like where you use your tongue.” The last part has him laughing as well.

“Sal,” Murray chimes in, “show him what you think that means and ask if it’s correct.” At that my head snaps in Murr’s direction, and I’m not sure if I should be angry or something, but Joe seems to find it amusing. Sal, on the other hand, completely surprises me.

“Oh, you mean like this?” At that he quickly pulls Faith flush against his body and snakes his tongue deep into her mouth, closing his eyes and moaning as he does so. Faith seems to be too shocked to react in any way, and the couple starts to wolf-whistle at them.

“Now grab her ass,” Joe instructs. Sal slides his hand down, but it doesn’t quite reach it’s destination. “Grab her ass or you lose Sal.”

Suddenly he breaks away and looks straight into a camera. “Nope, I’ll take a loss.”

After getting the couple to sign the waiver they both come back to where the three of us and the crew are set up. Faith is firetruck red and Sal’s looking pretty guilty. He pulls me aside and starts to frantically apologize.

“Q I’m sorry, please understand that I’m not attracted to her-” I shut him up with a little smirk.

“That was really hot.” My statement now has him blushing as well and we rejoin the group once more. Joe and Murr go and get a quick thumbs up as we don’t make them do anything with her physically, and then it’s my turn. Before I turn our microphones on, I turn to her. “I hope Sal’s kissing wasn’t overstepping any boundaries, and if it was it was all James’ fault, I swear.”

She laughs and says, “Sal’s just lucky he didn’t grope me. I’m fine with the kissing; I know that isn’t real. But the touching is too much. Joe did a good job with that one, assuming he knew that Sal wouldn’t do it, that is.” The problem is, I’m not sure if any of us really knew that or not. 

We laugh it off and turn the mics on, but we don’t get very far with the challenge before a group of people approach us, each of them holding their phones up, obviously filming us.

“Q is that really you?” “Who’s this girl? Are you dating?” “Is she the girl that raped you?” These questions just keep coming like the fucking paparazzi and I don’t even get a chance to answer a single one before Faith bursts into tears and runs off somewhere.

 

Sal’s POV

 

Q and Faith had just left for their turn when Joe unplugs the mic and turns to me. “Okay, what’s wrong?”

“What?”

“You heard me, I asked what’s wrong.”

“N-nothing’s wrong,” I lie.

Murr interjects at this point. “You’re a terrible liar.”

“If I didn’t know any better,” Joe continues, “I’d say you have a case of the blue balls.”

“Okay what the fuck is that?” I ask, totally confused at this point.

“It’s when a guy is constantly horny but can’t get off. Usually it happens when his wife or girlfriend is really far along in a pregnancy or somethin’ and doesn’t let him touch her. It happened with Bessy and I. The weird part is neither of you can get pregnant so I don’t know why that would happen or if I’m even correct in my assumption.” They both look at me with a quizzical expression, awaiting my response. Should I tell them? Do I want to tell them? It does involve mine and Brian’s most personal parts of our lives, so would he be upset if I said anything?

Probably.

“Well, I guess you’re right.” Both Murr and Joe are pretty shocked at my revelation. “He still… still won’t do it with me.”

“What do you mean, ‘won’t do it with you’?” Murr asks.

“I mean ever since the um… incident, with her, y’know, ever since we went to the therapist’s office and he began to remember what happened that night… we haven’t had sex.” God, was it hard to talk to them about this. When I was with a woman it was easy, but now that he and I are gay lovers, it just feels different.

“That’s stupid, why would he refuse sex?”

“That’s totally unlike him, usually he’d be trying to get some at least a few times a week,” Joe adds.

“I know, but every time we try, it reminds him of what happened. Sometimes he can do foreplay, but as soon as it involves him sticking his cock in anything he freezes up and starts hyperventilating. Even with blow jobs, sometimes…” I can tell that they’re both surprised I’m being so blunt, but I think they’re also just trying to take it all in. Like Joe said, this is so unlike Brian, it’s like I’m describing a different person.

“You need to talk to him,” they both say at the same time.

“No shit, don’t you think I’ve tried?”

“Well maybe try seeing his therapist again?” Murr suggests. “If it’s really this bad for this long then obviously it isn’t fixing itself. I’m sure he’s suffering from it as well, and it seems like the only way to move on is to get professional help.”

“Boys, it looks like we got trouble,” Joe interrupts and we all look out into the Square to see Q surrounded by people. Faith is nowhere in sight. Well fuck.

 

Brian’s POV

 

We manage to get the crowd to disperse. It was so odd for something like this to happen. We’re often recognized in public, but anything more than a group of five people is extremely rare, let alone people that are acting like news reporters when they clearly aren’t. Eventually Faith came back from wherever it was that she ran off too - probably the bathroom - with bloodshot eyes and a few sniffles.

“You okay?” I asked her. She barely nods. “I’m sorry that happened. You don’t deserve that.”

“Let’s just get this shot done and over with.” Twenty minutes later and I end the day with a solid thumbs up, just in time for Faith’s doctor’s appointment. On our way to my jeep Sal stops us.

“Wait guys, are you getting an ultrasound?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I uh… I was wondering if I could tag along?” Neither of us can believe that he just asked that. Nevertheless, we agree to let him come and he meets us at the midwife’s office.

When Faith gets on the table and pulls her shirt up I’m shocked to see her baby bump. I know that sounds stupid, but she always wears baggy clothes so it’s well hidden. And it’s not very big, but it’s there, and suddenly everything just seems that much more real. I think Sal is having the same thoughts, judging from the fact that he’s also starring at her stomach.

The midwife comes in at that point and begins to prep Faith for the ultrasound. “So, how are ya’ll doin’?” she asks with an obvious Southern accent. The usual small talk takes place just like the first two ultrasounds before the image pops up on the screen, and my jaw drops. The white blob is now roughly the size of an avocado; maybe a little bigger. Holy shit, he or she is getting so big! “D’ya wanna know the gender?” The midwife asks us.

Faith and I look at each other and say “Yes,” at the exact same time.

“It’s a bit hard to make out, but this right here,” she points to a spot on the screen, “sure does look like a little penis. Congratulations!”

“Oh my god!” I can’t help my excitement. I would’ve been happy with a girl, but having a son… I don’t know, I’ve just always dreamed of playing ball with my own son, joining a boy scout troupe, and just generally screwing with each other. Sal gingerly takes my hand and squeezes it, letting me know just how happy he is for me.

“Keep in mind, I could be wrong. It’s still a little early, so I’d wait to decorate the nursery. Is there anything else you folks would like to talk about? Any questions you have?”

“Yeah,” Faith finally speaks up. “I’m still getting sick very often. My morning sickness hasn’t slowed down and I’ve read that it should be about done for by 16 weeks.”

“Hmm, sometimes it lasts longer for different women.”

“Yeah but it’s very irritating. I started getting sick earlier than most women and like I said, it hasn’t let up. I’ve hardly been able to keep food down for weeks.”

It’s then that a look of concern flashes over the midwife’s face, and suddenly a heavy feeling roots itself in the pit of my stomach. “But your baby is so big, you’ve got to be getting some nutrition.”

Faith shakes her head. “Even the pills make their way back up.” The midwife prescribes Faith with a different medication in hopes that she’ll be able to eat, and tells her to come back if they don’t work in a week or so. I hope to God and Jesus Christ and every single almighty being out there that Faith and my son are okay.


	13. What Say You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian and Sal host a podcast with Faith, and afterwards she's not looking too hot.

_ *17 weeks pregnant* _

Brian’s POV

 

Sal had asked me if we could do a podcast today, so that’s where I’m going now, and this time we have a little surprise.

“Hello and welcome to the What Say You podcast, episode whatever-the-fuck-it-is, I’m here with Sal and our very special guest,” I start us off.

“I think it’s episode seventy somethin’,” Sal states. “But it doesn’t really matter, I feel like it’s a much higher number than that.”

“Eh, I’ve done so many more for TESD so… anyways, would you like to introduce yourself?” I say, turning to our guest.

“Uh sure, I’m Faith Redmond, a friend of Sal’s and Brian’s. Well, I guess your audience knows you better as Q, right?”

“It doesn’t really matter. But for those of you that don’t know, which I guess would be all of you since the episode hasn’t aired yet, Faith just starred in an Impractical Jokers episode last week. I really hope that one airs in season 6.”

They both say “Me too,” then Sal continues with, “But there is one scene that they might not want to put out.”

“You mean  _ that _ scene?” I ask, referring to Sal and Faith’s kissing. He nods. “I don’t see why not, we’ve put stuff like that on TV before.”

“Yeah but it was pretty, um… out there, it was a little too unprofessional.”  
“Haven’t you guys like humped things before?” Faith questions and we answer with a yes. “Then there’s no way they won’t use that footage.”  
“Alright well here we are talking about something that the people can’t even see for a few more months anyways so…” I decide to change the subject. “There’s actually a specific reason why we’re making this podcast with Faith here.” Sal’s dining room is immediately radiating with tension. This is a touchy topic, but one that definitely needs to be discussed where the public is involved. Slowly, I open the conversation. “As I’m sure many IJ fans already know, Faith is um… well some interesting things have happened concerning her.”  
“She’s the mother of your kid,” Sal blurts out.

“Sal!” I whine. I can’t believe he would just say that!

“What? It’s true! No need to beat around the bush.”

“...Right, anyways… God, I hope you listeners understand how difficult this really is to talk about. Despite what some people may think, we didn’t get pregnant on purpose.”

Up till this point, Faith had remained fairly silent, but I’m glad she picks it up from there. “We didn’t even agree to have sex… we were forced into it.”

“So please guys, whoever keeps calling her a murderous slut, and saying that she raped me… please stop. She didn’t do it willingly. She did it because the guy that was um… well he had a gun and…”

“He was threatening to kill both of us if we didn’t listen to him.”

“And aren’t there people suggesting that you get an abortion?” Sal asks us and Faith answers.

“Yeah, there’s a few reasons why I refuse to do that. For one I don’t believe in abortions. I know this is a very public podcast so I won’t say anything more other than that’s my opinion and my belief so please don’t tell me that I’m wrong for keeping a ‘rape baby’.” She uses air quotes for that horrible term that half of my fanbase has started using. “It’s still a baby, and it’s wrong to call it that, by the way.”

“And to be perfectly honest, I really want this kid,” I continue. “I’ve always wanted to be a father eventually, so…” We continue to talk about that for a couple more minutes, but Faith starts to look like she’s going to have a meltdown so we start on the second topic that Sal and I wanted to tell everyone about. “So Sal, what say you, should we tell them about you and I?”

“I guess. There’s a lot we haven’t told our fans, simply because it’s honestly no one’s business, but we feel like we’re lying if we keep hiding it from people.”

“Might I just say, before you continue buddy, that if there’s anyone that is revolted, or disgusted, or what have you, if there’s anyone like that, you can go fuck yourself.”

“Yeah, go fuck yourself. Alright, anyways, Q and I… well… we’re kind of… dating each other.” And there it is. The big reveal.

The reason that we’re putting all of this out there now is because there was so many fucking people spreading so many horrible rumors; about me and Faith, about me and Sal, and even about Sal, Murr, or Joe and Faith. I knew that that day of filming, when that group of people surrounded us, that it was only the beginning, and I didn’t want it to continue, or get worse. I didn’t want my child to grow up with the title of ‘rape child’, because he doesn’t deserve that. He doesn’t deserve to be hated before he’s even born.

The podcast isn’t very long because these are really the only things we wanted to talk about, but hopefully enough people listen to it that the rumors at least slow down a little. After we’re done recording Faith grabs her bag and heads for the door, but I stop her. Something about her seems off and I don’t like it.

“Hey, you okay?”

She turns to me, looking slightly pale and pained. “Yeah, just tired.”

“You look like you’re about to be sick, are you sure you can drive?”

“I’ll be fine, really, don’t worry about me.” But she doesn’t look fine as she gets into her beat up hyundai and drives off. She doesn’t look fine at all.

 

Later that night sees me and Sal on the couch. He’s sitting and I’m laying on his lap. The TV is on but neither of us are really watching it; rather, we’re actually on our phones, anxiously awaiting the onslaught of rumors and name calling that’s bound to happen. We uploaded the podcast right after we recorded it, but it doesn’t seem to have gotten very many views yet.

Finally, Sal sighs and drops his phone on the end table before rubbing his eyes. “I can’t stand being this anxious. We need something to relax.”

I look up at him. “I can go grab us a couple beers.”

“Yeah, that’d be great. Thanks Bri.” Standing up, I slip my phone in my pocket and fetch two cold beers from the fridge. I crack them open and sit back down, and we both take a long swig from our respective bottles; simultaneously sighing afterwards. “Mmm that hit the spot.” I feel him shift his body weight so he can lean over and kiss my cheek, but instead of pulling back like I expected him to, he trailed a few wet kisses down to my neck and lingered there, making a little moan rumble in my chest. He shivers and says, “I love it when you do that.”


	14. Wild Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sal and Brian try to have sex once again... Try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any and all comments are welcome on this story. It helps a lot with the plot when I know what you as the reader want and don't want. I get a lot of ideas from you guys so don't be shy.

Brian’s POV

 

“Really?” I ask and he nods. “I love it when you kiss my neck.” With that he takes both of our drinks and sets them down before swinging his leg over mine, so that he’s now straddling my lap. His warm, soft hand cups one of my scruffy cheeks, and I lean into it, which is exactly what he needs to once again start attacking my sensitive flesh; this time much more passionately. “Jesus, Sal… mmm…” His free hand begins to stroke my thigh; his nails catching on the denim of my jeans and getting dangerously close to my crotch in the process. Before long I’m fairly hard.

“I love you Brian.”

“I love y-” I’m interrupted by his tongue, which had decided to shove itself deep into my mouth. Different scents waft over me, making it nearly impossible to think clearly; his aftershave, shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, beer; I love all of it. I love the way his tongue ravishes my own, and the way he moans as he does it. But despite how much I love this, it’s time for me to take charge, so I roughly push him up off of me and trap him against a bookshelf before continuing our make out session. My fingers make their way to the buttons of his green plaid shirt and hastily tear it off his shoulders, revealing his slightly hairy chest to the warm summer air. The hair feels really soft under my light touch and the ends curl around my finger tips, but more than that he gets goosebumps as I trace imaginary lines over his entire torso. His own hands find their way under the back of my shirt and reciprocate the gesture, and together we sort of sigh into each other, both just basking in the other’s presence and warmth. It doesn’t last long though, because he suddenly pulls away as much as the bookcase will allow him.

“This is lovely and all, but I need to fuck you so fucking hard, baby.” Before I can respond I find myself sinking back into the couch cushions with his rather large frame pinning me down, his hands making fast work with my belt.

“Wait Sal…” I try to get his attention but he doesn’t seem to hear me and soon enough my legs are material free and his hand is wrapped around me. Normally I wouldn’t mind this but he’s unzipping his own pants as well, and… Words catch in my throat, unfortunately causing strange noises to escape me that could definitely pass for a moan of some sort. Eventually his pants are off as well and he doesn’t seem to have any intentions of stopping there. Panic begins to settle itself deep within me, panic so intense that my breathing, heartbeat, and rational thought process alike seem to stop.

Everything changes. The lighting, the smells, even the air is a bit colder and leaves little chills running up and down my spine. Suddenly I’m not with Sal. Suddenly I’m not in his living room. I’m laying on cold cement, behind a huge dumpster, with a gun above my face, ready to shoot at the slightest hint of disobedience. I’m scared absolutely shitless.

 

Sal’s POV

 

It isn’t until his erection goes down mid-sex that I realize something’s wrong. I know that sounds stupid but I was so into it that I didn’t realize he’s gone completely silent. Give me a break, it’s been a few months since I’ve had intercourse with anyone. Anyways as soon as I notice that something’s off I get off of his dick straight away and zip my slacks up. “Babe? You alright love?” But clearly he’s not alright, as he’s not responding in any way whatsoever. He’s just laying there, sprawled out, legs hanging over the edge of the cushions, his mouth is slack and his eyes are glazed over. But that’s not even the worst part; he’s looking around, not with his head, but his eyes, and he’s utterly terrified. And he’s doesn’t seem to see me, not even when I snap my fingers in his face and shout. “Bri! Brian, can you hear me?”

A few minutes pass, during which I try to get him to snap out of it, but to no avail. Not having any clue as to what to do, I grab my laptop from my kitchen table and start a video chat with Joe and Murr on skype. It seems like forever before they answer, but eventually they do.

“What’s up bud?” Murr greets.

“Make it quick, Bessy’s waiting for me to come to bed,” Joe says with an embarrassed smirk. Clearly he’s about to get it on, but that’s going to have to wait. They both seem to realize that something’s scaring the shit out of me.

“Is something wrong?” The question was asked at the same time.

I’m standing in the doorway of my dining room, looking into the living area. From this angle I can see most of Q’s torso strewn about the sofa, his lower half being blocked by the back of the dark furniture piece. In one hand I’m supporting my Macbook, and the other goes to my mouth as I struggle to keep the tears in. “Sal, what the fuck is going on?” Murr asks once again.

“I don’t know, James. I don’t fucking know. It’s like what I told you guys last week when Faith was on set with Q. He’s just… fucking he’s just laying there!”

“What the hell are you talking about? Sal, just spit it out.” Joe demands. I see a number of emotions strain their features; not any one in particular seeming to be satisfactory to them.

“Remember what I told you guys? About how he can’t have sex?” I only continue when I recieve nods from each of them. “Well, we tried, and now he’s like this!” With that I flip my laptop around so that they can see him.

“Sal, he looks like he’s just sleeping…” Murr says, skepticism evident in his tone.

“Yeah? Well look closer.” I aid them in this task by walking around and setting the Mac on the coffee table. They now can see his entire form - including his lower half, but it’s nothing that we all haven’t already seen a hundred times before.

“What the fuck?!” This is once again exclaimed by the two of them simultaneously.

“I don’t know!”

“Sal, wake him up!” Joe says stupidly.

“Don’t you think I’ve tried?” But our conversation comes to an abrupt halt when Brian finally shoots up into a sitting position, panting heavily and clearly on the verge of a huge breakdown. Or maybe he’s already in the middle of it. Without a second thought I close the laptop, not wanting to overwhelm him right off the bat. “Bri, are you okay?” But when he looks at me, he brings up his arms, as if to ward me off, and big fat tears fall from his glistening brown eyes.

“Please, get away! Get away from me, just STOP!”

“Brian, it’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you!” But my efforts are useless. His sobs turn into shrieks of terror. Somehow his body seems to burrow further into the corner of the couch, and curl in on itself, similar to a fetal position. My heart shatters at the sight of this shell of a man that is no longer the man I know; beaten and morphed into a pitiful, abused being that’s hardly recognizable. I feel myself fall apart at the knowledge that it was my own stupidity that sent him into this frame of mind. “Bri, I’m s-so sorry! P-p-please, I d-didn’t mean to!” I say through choked, dry sobs. But he just covers his face with his large, meaty hands, and continues to scream into them.

 

Twenty minutes later, Joe and Murr walk in to see Brian in the exact same position (although he’s no longer screaming due to his voice being blown out at this point) and I’m sitting in a dark corner of the room, the one furthest away from him; my head in my hands and my elbows being supported by my knees. They immediately go to him and manage to pull his hands away from his face. The worst part seems to be over, but I still don’t dare approach him in fear that he might spiral out of control once more.

 

Brian’s POV

 

Suddenly everything changes back, but the scene is different. I’m still naked from the waist down, curled up on the couch, with Murr and Joe looking down at me, horrified expressions on their faces. “Wh-what’s going on?” I ask. My throat hurts really bad for some reason.

“We were about to ask you the same thing,” Joe replies. “Sal skyped us, said that you weren’t… well we don’t really know.” I think back to what I had just experienced. It wasn’t anything new, but it was just as petrifying as the first time I remembered it. You know what I’m talking about. But I don’t want them to know. I don’t want the onslaught of questions and accusations that were bound to come. I wish that they hadn’t seen anything; that none of them were here. I wish I could just die.

“Q, please tell us what’s going on,” Murr pleads, but I don’t say anything. “Q!” He actually snaps in my face.

“What the fuck, man?”

“Well, you weren’t responding! You blacked out on Sal for however long -”

“Try nearly half an hour,” Sal interjects from across the room. Holy shit, I didn’t know he was over there.

“Right, half an hour, so I was worried you had slipped back into whatever fuckland you were in!” Murr’s being unnecessarily rude at the moment, and I can tell Joe’s thinking the exact same thing.

“Dude, chill out, we don’t know what he’s just been through,” Joe vouches for me. Thank Jesus Christ, someone understands a tiny bit.

“Well maybe he should tell us for once.” This time Sal gets up and crosses the room over to us, and now I have all three of them bearing over me as I try desperately to hide my jewels.

“Can I at least get fucking dressed?!” Awkward and apologetic looks pass over their features as the two that I’m not dating turn their backs, and the one that I am hands me my pants. When I take them I don’t put them on, as I’m still not getting complete privacy.

“Oh my fucking god, Q!” he yells as he also turns his back and I quickly slip my boxers and jeans on.

“What?!” They all turn back around when I’m done and standing.

“Now I can’t even see you naked?! I’m your boyfriend! I don’t understand why I can’t have sex with you, or even give you blowjobs!”

His words hurt. They hurt really bad, and I lash out. I don’t mean to, but I do. “Because! You wanna know what just happened?!? Do you  _ really  _ wanna know?!?!”

“Yes, I do! Because you scared the shit out of me!”

“Oh, YOU were scared?!” At this point, both Murr and Joe have taken a couple steps back, seeming to know that it’s best to stay quiet when Sal and I are having at it like this.

“Yeah! I was fucking scared! You looked dead, Bri! Stopped breathing and everythin’! The only way I knew you weren’t was ‘cause your eyes were still movin’ ‘round!” His accent is deepening in his rage, and to be honest mine probably is as well. “And then when I  _ thought _ you woke up, you started screamin’ at me, telling me to ‘get away’ and makin’ noises that I didn’t even know a grown man could make!”

“BECAUSE I WAS FUCKING RAPED AGAIN!” My outburst causes a blanket of silence to smother the entire house. Not even the tick tock of the clock in the kitchen could be heard. The three of them just stare at me, unable - no,  _ refusing _ to understand what I had just said.

“I did not rape you,” Sal breaks the silence with a deadly whisper.

“No, that’s not what I meant. I meant that I physically saw it again. That’s why I won’t let you get intimate with me! Normally I just have little flashes, but this time I completely relived the whole fucking thing!” The room starts to spin a little and Joe helps me to sit down. I don’t have much energy after all of the events of the day, so I feel like I could pass out any minute.

“We didn’t know that it was that bad,” Joe states. “Why didn’t you tell us? Or at least Sal?”

“Because I didn’t want to scare you guys, because I can’t stand knowing that I can’t provide him with sufficient pleasure anymore, and because I’m just a huge fuck up!” I cry out as I once again put my head in my hands and start sobbing.


	15. Dr. Denair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian and Sal pay a visit to Brian's therapist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any and all comments are welcome on this story. It helps a lot with the plot when I know what you as the reader want and don't want. I get a lot of ideas from you guys so don't be shy.

Sal’s POV

 

“Brian, I know this might be difficult to do, but could you tell us what happened that night?” We’re still standing in my living room, and Brian is still freaking out a little. When I say that he gives me a panicked look and frantically shakes his head. “Could you tell me? I’m sure Murr and Joe wouldn’t mind stepping out for a bit.” Again, I get a no.

“You already know.”

“Yeah, but I want  _ you _ to tell me. I want to know  _ your _ feelings and thoughts, and then maybe, just maybe, I can start to help you. Plus, getting it out of your system will help you, I promise.”

“How the fuck will that help?! I don’t want to remember that shit at all, let alone talk about it!”

I rest my hands on his shoulders. Normally these arms hold so much strength in them, but right now I feel like I could snap them like a twig. Looking into his eyes, I can see that he must feel the same way, and it scares him. It scares him that he’s so incredibly vulnerable, because this is Brian “Q” Quinn, host of the “Tell ‘Em Steve Dave” and “What Say You?” podcasts, and one of the four cornerstones of The Tenderloins and Impractical Jokers TV show. This forty year old man has survived so many life experiences, including being engaged and then dumped. He’s fought countless fires that have hospitalized him on numerous occasions, and suffered severe brain infections that could very well have taken his life. He’s saved hundreds of people and brought happiness to millions. And this one thing has brought all of that - every defense, every wall, and every staircase that he’s built to get him to this point in life - it has brought all of that crashing down. By looking into his eyes now I see that he hasn’t made any progress towards recovery, he’s only pushed it to another day, which is understandable considering he’s never experienced this and has no clue as to what he needs to do to heal himself. As his best friend, as his lover, and as his brother I need to make sure that he learns what that is and do it. I have to help him. I  _ must _ help him. Not for me, but for him; for  _ us _ . And I won’t ever stop until he is completely and truly happy.

“Please tell me. Or if you won’t tell me, could we at least start seeing your therapist again? Maybe she could help.” He nods at that so I tell Joe and Murr thanks for coming over, and they can go now. Q and I start to settle in for the night - he said he didn’t want to be alone so I told him he’s more than welcome to stay over again, although he does make a quick trip to his house to feed his cats and shower. By the time he comes back I have a little snack prepared, we eat and then ready ourselves for bed.

 

I wake up several times throughout the night to find that he hasn’t caught a wink of sleep, but he still lies next to me in bed, and to be honest I don’t question it. I probably wouldn’t be able to sleep after an experience like that either.

It’s nearly dawn when I once again wake and he finally says something. His back is turned to me so I’m not really sure how he knew I was awake, or if he even cared, but nonetheless he starts talking, not allowing me to say anything at all. “I hadn’t seen or talked to Faith for quite some time, but when I saw her that night I was surprised for a completely different reason. None of the people at the bar were respecting her, and she looked like a mess. I felt bad for her, but I wasn’t going to do anything until I saw her and that Williams guy leave through a back door. Something was definitely wrong about the situation. I didn’t know what it was, or how I knew that, but I knew something was wrong, so of course I followed her. You were… actually I don’t know where you were, or any of our friends, so I followed her alone. I’m much bigger than that guy and knew I could take him in a fight if it came down to that.

And then it did come down to that, but he pulled out his gun and I couldn’t do anything without getting my head blown off. You know me, I wouldn’t mind giving myself up to save someone, including Faith, but I wasn’t good to anyone dead in that situation.” I cringe at the thought of his life being threatened like that, but I still remain silent. He continues to recount his story, almost in a nonchalant manner; as if it happened to someone else. “He told me to do exactly as he says, or he would kill her, and then turned the gun on her. She tried to tell me to save myself, but I ignored her and said ‘do what you want to me, just don’t hurt her’.” Finally Q turns around to face me, and I see something in his eyes; begging. He’s desperate for me to understand. “I just couldn’t leave her there to get hurt or die, Sal. I couldn’t. If it were you, or Joe or Murr, or anyone really, I’d do the same thing. You know that.”

I nod and say, “I do. What happened next?” There’s no way I’m letting him stop now.

“I only remember weird flashes after that. He stuck a needle in my neck, and I fell. I was so high that I didn’t even feel myself hit the ground. The next thing that I remember is him undoing my pants. Next I hear him screaming at Faith to ‘do it’, and she’s begging him to not hurt me.” Suddenly Q goes silent and I can feel the blankets move up and down rapidly with his chest, and I feel a twinge of panic creep into my throat as I realize what’s beginning to happen.

“Bri? Brian, it’s alright, I’m right here love.” I pull him into my arms and hold onto him tightly. “Listen to my voice. You’re not there. It’s over. You’re right here, in bed with me, and I won’t ever let anyone touch you ever again. Do you understand?”

A few seconds pass but it feels like hours. Nevertheless he finally lets out one last shaky breath before he removes he pulls away and gazes at me once more, and I’m extremely relieved to see that he’s still able to focus on me. A mumbled apology escapes him and he embraces me as well.

“Don’t apologize. You have nothing to apologize for. What happened to you was horrible. It’s one of the most unforgivable sins in the world, and you didn’t deserve it. But it did happen and you need to understand that it’s over. Simon Williams is no more and can’t hurt you or Faith. And I’m glad that you’re comfortable enough to talk to me. It pains me to know that you were raped, but I need to know. Joe and Murr need to know, and your therapist needs to know. And probably your parents. We’re all here to support you in every way possible, my love. Do you understand that?” I feel him nod against my chest. “And do you understand that I understand how difficult this is for you to talk about, and that I’m incredibly proud of you for having the strength to do so?” Again, he nods. “Now. Can you finish telling me what happened?”

He pulls away from me again and stares at the dark ceiling. “I remember seeing her on top of me - riding me. I didn’t feel anything. I’m not even sure how I was able to have an erection and ejaculate; maybe he also gave me some viagra shit or somethin’. I don’t know. I don’t even remember finishing. The last thing I saw before waking up at 3 in the morning was him dragging her into a car. And then of course when I woke up, I had no recollection of what happened; not until we saw my therapist and she performed hypnosis.” And to think, during all of that, I was at home banging some random girl. Some boyfriend I am.

 

_ *One week later. Faith is 18 weeks pregnant* _

Brian’s POV

 

Dr. Denair, my therapist, was able to see us at 2pm today, so we had to stop filming early with the promise of making up for it this weekend. No one except Murr and Joey know where we’re going, and we’d like to keep it that way, thank you very much.

“Well hello Brian Quinn. Sal Vulcano,” she says to us as we enter her office. We both say hi and shake her hand. As she grabs a notebook out of her drawer she gestures for us to sit on the couch under the window, we accept her offer, and she pulls around her big office chair for herself. “So, how have things been with you guys?”

“Well,” I start us off, “I think our relationship has been good.” That was said with confidence but Sal doesn’t seem to be reflecting that confidence in his body language, and I wonder why. Could this really be taking that big of a toll on him?

As if Dr. Denair could sense the same thing in Sal, which she probably could, she turns her attention to him. “And Sal, do you agree with this statement?”

“Yeah, of course, it’s been great.” His lie is like a stab to my heart.

“Are you sure?”

“Well, that’s kinda what we came to speak with you about. We’ve uh, been having troubles as far as uh… sex… goes…” You guys know how red Sal gets on the show when he’s  _ really _ embarrassed? He just turned that shade of red.

She suddenly seems to get a little uncomfortable but she obviously is trying to hide it. “Well I’m not exactly that kind of doctor…”

“That’s not what he means,” I chime in. “Last time when I came in here, you performed hypnosis and I claimed that I didn’t remember anything.”

“Yes, and?”

“Well… I lied. I did remember something, but you were right when you said I might not want to.” I can’t help but rub my eyes is anxiousness. “God, I really don’t want to remember that.”

“Could you tell me what happened? I understand you not wanting to be truthful about it, but it is my job to try and help you through your hardships.”

So I told her. And when I was done, she asked me to recount different parts of the event in different ways. She asked me what was I feeling, what did it smell like, what was Faith doing, what was  _ he _ doing, etcetera. We were there for about 45 minutes of our hour long session just asking and answering questions about what happened to Faith and I a few months ago.

“One last thing, Brian. How has this been affecting you recently?” And there’s the $1000 question.

“Well… this is how it ties back to Sal and I… I can’t seem to have sex anymore. Every time I try I just…”

“Freak out,” Sal finishes for me.

“How so?” She asks.

I look to Sal to answer this one, because I don’t exactly know what I do. It sounds weird but it’s the truth. “Well, last week for example, he just… stopped responding. Didn’t move. Didn’t say anything. He didn’t even  _ breathe _ for close to a minute. His eyes were unfocused and fogged up. He was looking around but it was obvious he didn’t see anything; not anything that was actually there, anyways. And he completely lost his erection. That’s when I realized that something was wrong.”

“Is that all?”

“No. When he finally came to - or I at least thought he did - he didn’t seem to know who I was. He was screaming for me to ‘get away’.” He’s saying this nonchalantly, probably trying to hide his true feelings from her, who’s practically a stranger to him, but I see right through it. He was terrified that night. Terrified for me; probably terrified  _ of _ me as well.

Finally she turns back to me, who, by the way, is incredibly embarrassed and honestly a little sick to the stomach at this point. I didn’t realize that’s how bad it was for Sal. I thought I just passed out or something. “And what were you experiencing during this time? Do you remember anything?”

“Well yeah. I was basically reliving everything that happened that night. Exactly as I remember it. However I don’t remember waking up and freaking out like that. I didn’t come to until Joe and Murr got there, I think.”

“Well, gentlemen, we’re definitely gonna have to have multiple sessions to talk this through and help you heal from this traumatic event. Rape often takes months or even years to move on from. But I will help you to the best of my abilities. Unfortunately we only have a few minutes left, so I’d like to spend it giving you instructions on what you can do this next week to help the healing process, until we meet again. Are you ready?” We both nod. “First of all, Brian, don’t hide from it. We as humans often feel like saying that we were raped makes us weak or insignificant or even stupid, but it doesn’t. Rape is one of those things that although it’s bad, can eventually, with the right self-control, turn into something good. If you think of it as something that made you stronger in the long run, then you’re on the right path. The first step in doing this is  _ acknowledging  _ it. Say it out loud. Don’t avoid saying the word ‘rape’. I’m not saying you have to tell a bunch of people about it, but when you’re talking with me, Sal, or your two best friends, don’t shy away from saying ‘I was raped’.

The other thing you have to do this week is nurture yourself. I understand that especially for someone that’s dealt with depression a lot in your life, this might be very difficult. But you need to empower yourself. Don’t look in the mirror every morning and pick out every flaw that you see. Instead try and notice at least one good thing, and focus on that. Sal, you can help a lot in this regard. Compliment him. You don’t have to go over the top, but it can help. I’m sure you already know this.”

Out of the corner of my eye I see him give me a small smile. “There sure is a lot I can compliment, though. It’s going to be hard picking just a few things.” His words make me feel warm and fuzzy inside already.

“The last thing for today has to do with your sex life. Sal, don’t expect to get some very soon, but maybe try some messing around with each other. Pay close attention to what triggers a flashback. If we know what the trigger is, then I can help you two to work through it together. Also, Brian, I know this might sound weird, but try avoiding closing your eyes or looking away from Sal. Focusing on him during these activities might help you stay in the moment. And last but not least,  _ take it slow. _ The rushing might be scaring you.

Next week, I want to know what you guys think it might be that sends you into a flashback. Same day, same time?”

“Can we do it a bit later in the day? Filming has been brutal recently,” I ask/state.

“Sure! No problem. 6 o’clock?”

We set up a time, say our goodbyes, and then get into Sal’s car. As I climb into the passenger’s seat and Sal starts the engine, he turns to me with a giant smile plastered on his goofy face. “What?”

“I’m so fucking proud of you right now. You know that?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know this chapter is a bit different, but it’s necessary. I’d just like to say that if any of you have experienced rape, please call a rape hotline or visit a sexual assault facility close to you. Or simply tell somebody. Your parents, siblings, friends, outside family members, whomever you feel comfortable telling. You can even PM me if you want. Don’t bottle it up, and get help.  
> Anyways, do you think this will help Brian? I think we all know by now that he has suffered from depression and the self-nurturing thing might be a bit difficult for him, but hopefully Sal can help in that regard. What do you think will happen to their sex life? Also, why doesn’t Faith seem to be displaying any symptoms like Q?


	16. Eagerness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sal and Q get right down to business ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Funny story, I actually wrote out this chapter a while ago and uploaded it to the main site that I post on, but forgot to upload it on archive as well. I know, I'm a horrible person, I'm sorry! I hope you guys like it nonetheless. Personally, I think it could've been better, but I'm also very critical of myself so...

_ *Right after the therapist visit* _

Brian’s POV

 

Needless to say, Sal was quite eager to go home and try out what my therapist suggested we do. He must’ve been waiting for this for a long time. God, I really suck at making sure my boyfriend is satisfied, don’t I? Anyways when we shut my front door he’s already practically begging me to take him to bed.

“Sal! For the love of god, please don’t rush me,” I say and crush his dreams.

“I’m sorry babe, I’m just excited that we finally get to do something more.”

“Yeah, don’t expect it to go very far though.” The both of us take off our shoes and head upstairs, and as soon as I enter my bedroom he’s yanking off all of his clothes. “Sallybabe, remember what Dr. Denair said?” He gives me a blank look. “Take it slow. Please. I really want this to work so please just listen and take it slow.”

He sighs and then shrugs as if to say ‘have it your way then’. “Then you lead tonight, babe. I’m not trying to fuck this up.” Slightly comforted by his words, I walk over to him and begin to gingerly kiss his soft, Cuban lips. There’s still a tight knot in the pit of my stomach, but it’s nothing like what happened last week so I try desperately to convince myself that I’m okay. It helps a little. “Oh god,” Sal moans into the kiss. “You taste so good. Mmm…” Well fuck, he’s already got my dick twitching.

“Slowly undress me,” I tell him, and he immediately obeys; starting at my hat, then my shirt, pants, and socks. But when he reaches for the waistband of my boxers, I find myself instinctively moving away. At first he thinks I’m just messing with him and reaches for me again, but when I move away a second time he looks at me with a very confused expression.

“Babe, you told me to undress you.”

I run my hands over my face and through my hair as I try so hard to stop shaking. “I know.”

“...Aaaand why can’t I? It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”

“Just give me a minute.” My voice is muffled by the palms of my hands when I speak. Time passes and Sal just stands there, staring at me and trying to judge the situation. “Okay. Go ahead,” I say before I lose my sudden burst of courage. He pulls my underwear off with haste, but he doesn’t push forward until I finally look at him.

“I love you, babe. You’re the handsomest, sexiest man I’ve ever met, and I’m really glad I have the privilege to touch this,” he says as he gropes my crotch. Leaning into me and embracing me with his free arm, he speaks again and tickles my ear with his lips as he does so. Obviously I shiver and hug him back while he continues to stroke me. “I love this cock… I love it so fucking much.”

A small smile spreads across my lips as his praises take the edge off of my nerves, and I lean down to kiss the pressure point in his neck.

“God, every time you touch me, I feel like I’m on fire,” he exclaims.

I smile cheekily. “Well, you are pretty hot, so that would make sense.”

“No, you make me hot. You make me everything that I am. Without you, I wouldn’t be the man that I am.”

“You’re adorable,” I randomly say.

“And ready to fuck you senseless,” he adds, and I freeze. His hand begins to move slightly faster but I barely feel it. It isn’t until he’s on his knees - obviously about to try and blow me - before he looks up and realizes something’s wrong. When he does he immediately stops and stands back up, taking my face in his hands to keep my gaze on him. “I’m sorry. You okay?” I inhale deeply and shut my eyes to steady myself before nodding ever so slightly. “Babe, look at me. Open your eyes and look.” I obey him. Looking into his bright green eyes starts to calm me as he continues to speak. “I love you. You’re not being hurt, you’re okay. Got it?”

“Yeah,” I whisper.

“Good.” Despite his tough outlook his whole body seems to sigh in relief. “I guess dirty talk is off the table.”

“I think it’s just specific dirty talk…”

“...Oh… Maybe. I won’t say that anymore.”

We’re both exceedingly grateful that we finally figured something out, but unfortunately he’s not really in the mood anymore, so I let him take a nap on my bed while I mess with my cats downstairs. At first I was in the same boat as him, but after an hour or so I got this urge - it started so small but began to grow over time - to kiss him. I couldn’t stop thinking about his lips and wanted nothing more than to feel them on mine once more.

I make my way upstairs and find him still sleeping, but he had kicked the covers off and I suddenly get an amazing idea. He’s still naked, so I kiss him then get on the bed between his legs and take his length into my mouth. It’s not erect at the moment, but that’ll soon change. The seconds pass and he hasn’t woken up, but he’s starting to emit cute little moans in his sleep. I pull away from his now very hard cock and begin to kiss it from the base to the tip slowly, giving his opening a little flick of the tongue when I get there. He groans at that, and I swirl my tongue around and around, and when I hit a particularly sensitive spot (right on the underside of his head) he outright gasps and his back arches. My lips gently nurse that spot, and finally he says something.

“Oh Brian that feels so good!”

I chuckle. “You awake now baby?”

“Fuck yeah I’m awake!” I continue my ministrations and it’s not long before he suddenly pulls me up to him and engages in an intense makeout session. It doesn’t last long, but it’s enough to leave me breathless. “Q, I need to touch you. I need to pleasure you. How do I do that?”

The question takes me by complete surprise, and I honestly don’t know how to answer it at first. “I… well I… I’m not really sure. I’m getting pleasure simply from doing this,” I squeeze his balls gently and he once again gasps.

“Q, please…”

I sigh. “I guess… a really nice hand job?”

“Done.” And just like that his hand is in my pants rubbing me furiously. And I love it.

“Fuck!” His lips once again find mine and he sucks on my tongue so hard it’s almost painful, but I love that as well. I begin to stroke him too, attempting to match his speed but ultimately failing. Either way he seems to really enjoy it.

And finally, after so, so long, we both successfully climax at the same time without any complications.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think of this chapter? This is a small step forward for their sex life; will it be enough? What do you think it is that triggers Q?


	17. Can't Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Could the baby be in danger?

Brian’s POV

The weekend came around and as promised, we worked extra long in order to make up for the time Sal and I took off. However, about an hour before we planned on packing up, I got a text from Faith.

Faith: Hey, are you done working?  
Me: Not quite. Why?  
Faith: I have a question but I’ll ask when you’re done.

I sent her a text when we were done but she hadn’t replied by the time I got home. I decide to call her, and she answers after quite a few rings.  
“Hey…” Her voice was so raspy, I could barely hear her.  
“Fuck, are you sick?”  
“Yeah, I think I have-” But she’s suddenly cut off by something that sounds like something dying, and I realize that it’s her coughing. And holy hell is it a long coughing fit.  
When she’s finally done I ask her, “You okay?”  
“No. I think I need to *cough* see a *cough, cough* doctor.”  
“Why haven’t you gone already? This can’t have just come on within a couple of hours, could it?”  
“No, it didn’t. But I can’t move…”  
“I’ll be over as soon as possible to take you to the ER.”  
As I rush over to her place every scenario runs through my head; what if this is really bad? Could it hurt the baby? Could it hurt her? I really hope to god that it’s just a simple cough or something. But she did say she can’t move, so maybe it’s a fever?  
The door is unlocked so I let myself in. It doesn’t take long to find the one bedroom in this tiny-ass house. However it does take me a few seconds to find her curled up under the massive mound of blankets on the rickety bed.  
The smell alone nearly makes me vomit when I uncover her. She’s pale. Like, really pale. Her hair is messy, her clothes haven’t been changed, and when I feel her forehead I know that this is no laughing matter.  
“Fucking shit, Faith, you’re hot to the touch.”  
“No, I’m freezing,” she gasps as her flimsy arms attempt to pull the blankets back up to her chin.  
“No, this is bad. I’m not gonna sugarcoat it, I’m pretty sure this temperature is dangerous. I’m taking you to the hospital.”  
I gently pick her up bridal style, being ever so careful of her growing belly, and carry her out to my jeep. She doesn’t exactly moan in pain, as she doesn’t have much of a voice, but she is making pitiful gasping noises and I feel her shaking against me.  
I get her situated and drive off. When we arrive and I rush her into the emergency room we’re asked a bunch of questions; most of which I don’t know the answer to.  
“Have you ever experienced anything like this before?” The nurse asks.  
“Yes,” Faith croaks. “I’ve had acute bronchitis several times.”  
I’m instructed to sit in the waiting room as she could possibly be very contagious if she really does have bronchitis. The suspense is killing me. I’ve never had bronchitis, but some of my family has and it’s a fucking bitch slap to the face. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, that’s for sure.  
Nearly ten minutes have passed and I’ve already exhausted myself from worrying, so I pull out my phone to text Sal, only to find that he’s been texting me for the last hour asking if I want to come over tonight.

Me: Srry love, had to take Faith to the hospital.  
Sal: Oh, I thought she wasn’t scheduled again for a couple of weeks. Send me some pics of baby Q!  
Me: It’s not like that…  
Sal: What do you mean?  
Me: She’s sick. Could be something serious. Really high fever, coughing, and trouble breathing. I’ll let you know when I know more.  
Sal: Don’t worry about me, you take care of your kid/baby momma. I love you.  
Me: Love you too. And thx.

The doctor finally came out to talk to me. “She was right, she has bronchitis.” Fucking shit. “We have her on a breathing machine right now; hopefully it helps her clear up. And we’re trying to bring her fever down. She could be contagious but if you limit physical contact with her, wash your hands when you do touch her or anything she’s touched, and avoid touching your mouth, nose, and eyes, you should be fine.”  
“So it’s not very serious?” I ask.  
“We don’t think so, no. However, if left untreated, it could get worse since she is pregnant and her immune system isn’t as strong. But as long as she takes these medications,” he shows me a list that consists of an inhaler, nasal spray, and antibiotics, “she should show improvement within a couple of days. If she doesn’t, just take her to her regular doctor.”  
“Got it. Can I see her now?”  
“She’ll be on the machine for another five minutes but yes.”  
I walk in and can’t help but cringe at the sight of her laying down, holding a tube thing to her lips. It doesn’t look like the typical breathing machine. There’s no face mask, and it’s a bit smaller, but it still makes a loud, annoying noise. Her eyes drift over to me and she smiles even though her chest is barely moving. I smile back and walk over to her while still keeping a little distance. “Hey, how are you two doing?” I ask, gesturing to her enlarged stomach. She’s really starting to show more the last couple of weeks, and it completely baffles me to think that there’s a tiny human growing inside there.  
With her free hand she reaches for mine. The doctor did say not to touch her, but I think she’s trying to tell me something so I reluctantly give her my hand, and she places it on the underside of her stomach. At first I’m completely lost and have no idea what she’s trying to do, but then I feel it. It’s so soft I almost miss it, but I feel it.  
I stare at my hand with tears of joy forming in my eyes. “Did I just… feel his first kick?” Faith nods and I totally surprise myself when I lean down close to her belly and whisper to him. I feel so happy; elated, actually. There's no other way to describe it, and there's no way anyone can understand unless they have also felt their child’s first kick. “Hey little guy, how ya doin’?” He kicks in response. “Good. Since you’re feeling so great, make sure you’re extra good for momma. She’s working really hard to make you healthy but sadly she’s not feeling very good, so behave.”  
Faith takes out the breathing thing finally. She sounds a bit better, but it's obvious that it’s still hard for her to breathe and speak. “Geez Q, it’s not like he can do much.”  
“You’d be surprised. I’ve heard some pretty bizarre pregnancy stories.” We both giggle at that, remembering crazy stories our friends and family have told us. Then that got me thinking.  
“Faith?”  
“Yeah?  
“Do you have family?”  
“Of course I have family, silly. They live on the Pacific coast though.”  
“Oh. Then why are you here?”  
“School.” The answer was short, sweet, and simple, but I can't shake the feeling that there's something else that she hasn't told me. Normally I wouldn't pry, however I feel that since she's my son’s mother I should probably try to get to know her a little.  
“School? That's it?” She just nods.

A short while later we leave, pick up her prescriptions at the pharmacy, and decide to head to my house. “You’re staying with me until you get better. Alright?”  
“What? I can’t do that, I can’t be a burden on you.”  
I shrug. “Aren’t dads supposed to care for their family?”  
“You… are you referring to our son or me?”  
“Well, I guess kind of both…” I say sheepishly. Suddenly it feels really hot in my jeep. “Please just stay with me. I would feel horrible if something happened to you.”  
I glance over at her, worried that she’ll get angry or accuse me of trying to get with her, which by the way is not the case, but instead she’s smiling. “Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It sucks, I know. But I need a filler chapter and I didn’t want you guys to wait any longer for an update. My apologies.
> 
> Do you think Faith will get better? Are you happy that she’ll be staying with Q or not? What will Sal think?


	18. Pissy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sal is just a tad bit pissy and Q can't seem to get through to him.

The next evening.  
Brian’s POV

“She’s staying at your HOUSE?!”  
“Just until she gets better. And don’t yell at me!”  
“But it’s her! In your house!”  
“And she’s carrying my son!” I knew Sal wouldn’t take kindly to the news, but I didn’t expect him to blow up like this. Why can’t he just understand that she’s going to be a part of things for a while? I just don’t get it. “And besides, I thought you were fine with her. You seemed to enjoy kissing her a while back.” I don’t know where that came from. Let’s blame it on the heat of the moment, shall we?  
“You guys made me do that, you dope!”  
“But did you like it?!” Never mind, it’s not the heat. It’s...jealousy?  
For a second the anger in his eyes dissipates only to be replaced by surprise and slight panic at the question. “I - no! Yes! Fuck of course I did! It’s a fucking kiss, who wouldn’t? That’s not even what we’re talking about here!”  
“Is it?” I ask, suddenly calm. An eery calm. A dangerous calm.  
“What do you mean?”  
“Just tell me. Are you jealous because of me? Or jealous because of Faith.” Should I… Should I be asking myself that question?  
“Bri, I… I love you. You know I do. I just want you to myself.”  
I sigh and rub my face in a feeble attempt to smooth the stress lines. “Sal, you know you can’t exactly have that. I’m going to be a dad. My son will depend on me, and at least until he is born Faith will too. I don’t want this to come between us, because I love you too, and I would never want to be away from you. You know that if I had it my way, none of us would be in this mess.”  
When he doesn’t respond, I get worried. He’s just staring at me, but why? His face is more than blank. Those green eyes almost look… hollow, I guess you could say. There’s no other way to explain it. Is there something going on with Sal that I don’t know about? Something that I’ve been too blind, too ignorant, too busy to see? I take a moment to study him real close. There’s the obvious differences; he’s lost weight, his hair has grown out a bit, he’s always very clean. And then there’s the smaller, more important details that most people would overlook. He’s still pretty large but his clothes are hanging loosely on him. His hair is disheveled and unkempt. He’s clean but it’s weird; he’s too clean. Not a speck of dirt, not a fuzzy piece of lint can be found anywhere on his body, and he hasn’t shaved in a couple of weeks. “What’s wrong, Sal?” I all but whisper.  
“Nothing,” he finally says in a harsh tone. “I’ll see you tomorrow when we leave.” And at that he slams my door; causing the glass in my windows to rattle.  
Fuck, I had almost forgotten about the tour. Faith isn’t completely healed yet, and I’ll be missing an ultrasound. I know I’ve been to all of them so far, so missing one doesn’t seem that big of a deal. Hell, a few months ago, I wouldn’t have cared at all. But that was then, and Faith wasn’t pregnant then. Now that she is, now that I’m going to be a dad, I don’t want to miss anything. Not a single thing.  
“What was that about?” Thank God her voice has healed a bit.  
I turn to her, seeing her in her night shirt and a pair of my raggedy basketball shorts, her short hair sticking up in several places as if she had just rolled out of bed. I try to smile, but I’m sure she saw right through it. “Sal’s just having a hard time with everything.”  
“He’s gets jealous easily, doesn’t he?”  
“Dude, you don’t even know the half of it.” I plop on the couch with a loud groan and rub my eyes. “I don’t know what to do. He’s upset and I’ll have to deal with that throughout the entire tour.”  
She sits on the other side of the couch so as to give me space. “Well surely he can’t stay mad for that long. Not at you, anyways.”  
“Wanna bet? Sal’s like a tween girl who just started her first period when it comes to shit like this.” Faith laughs even though I wasn’t joking, then her laughing turns into coughs so strong I’m afraid she’ll puke up her lungs. When she’s done I get her a glass of water. “You okay?” She nods as she sips.  
“You know I never meant for any of this to happen. If I had it my way, you and I never would have met.”  
Her words make complete sense, but for some reason they hurt. I would say the same thing, but hell I really enjoy her company. I’m happy that she’s giving me a child, even if it was a product of… y’know. But she’s right, so I swallow my feelings and say, “I know. None of this would have happened. But it did.”  
“Can I ask you a question?”  
“Shoot.”  
“Do you agree with me?”  
“Yes.” No.  
“Don’t lie to me. Don’t treat me like I’m stupid.”  
I look into her emotionless eyes. “I don’t think you’re stupid. I truly do agree with you.”  
She sighs heavily and takes her leave; her engorged stomach and illness causing her to tire easily as she ascends the staircase.

The next day.

Just as I had expected, Sal’s mood hadn’t lightened up one bit by morning. Loading the bus was a pain in the ass because he was so pissy; even Joe was beginning to get annoyed by it. “Sal, just put your suitcase on the damn bus, would ya?” he pleaded.  
“Don’t rush me.” Sal snapped back.  
The bickering didn’t stop for the first half of the trip. Our shows sucked compared to how they normally are. I don’t think the fans are upset or know that anything is going on, but they definitely haven’t been laughing or clapping as loud as they usually do. It got to the point where none of us wanted to be around Sal, and that included when some of us had to room together. It’s uncommon for any of us to have to share a hotel room, but sometimes if they don’t have enough rooms available we do. One night in particular I had to room with Joe, and Murr had to room with two of our sound guys because we all just decided to give Sal his own room.  
Tired and aggravated, Joe and I settle into our room and get ready for bed in silence. We both climb into our own bed, irritated and exhausted out of our minds.  
“So what’s been up with him?” he asks me, breaking the silence.  
“I had Faith move in with me because she’s sick, so now he’s acting like a child.”  
“Oh.” A few minutes pass before he speaks again. “So he’s just jealous?”  
“I guess.”  
“Have you given him a reason to be jealous?”  
“Joe, do you really think I would do that to him?”  
“I mean, you did in the past. With girlfriends and stuff.”  
I think back to those days during my earlier years, when I was careless and reckless. I thought I loved the girls I was with, but it always ended the same. One of us realized that we didn’t truly love each other (or knew the whole time that we didn’t) we just enjoyed the friendship and really enjoyed the sex. And a few of my relationships didn’t even have that going for it. I would get frustrated and want to move on, so instead of facing the facts and just breaking up with the girl I’d cheat on her. And there was numerous times that she cheated on me. It got to the point that, after the woman I was engaged to left me, I was done. I used girls. Sometimes I did care a little bit for them, but I never completely committed to them. Sometimes they were on the same page and understood that really we were just fuck buddies, but most of the time I ended up breaking their heart.  
“I would never do that to Sal,” I state truthfully.  
“Well, I guess he does often get upset for no reason,” Joe says wearily as he rolls over, ending the conversation.  
I didn’t fall asleep, and around midnight I get a text. Who the hell would text this late at night?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How'd you like this chapter? Does Sal have a right to react this way? Why is Brian feeling so conflicted? Do you think Faith is getting in between the two of them? And who do you think texted him so late and why? I'd love to hear your ideas!


	19. Emotional

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's tension between Q and Sal. Can their actions dissipate it?

Brian’s POV

Sal. That’s who would text me so late at night.  
Sal: I need to tell you something.  
Q: I’m trying to sleep. What is it?  
It was a few minutes before he responded.  
Sal: Nevermind.  
Q: You piqued my curiosity. Please tell me.  
Sal: I love you  
Q: Are you drunk?  
Sal: Tired. I love you  
Q: Love you too. Night

Sal’s POV

He said “love you,” not “I love you”. Does he truly love me? Am I being paranoid? I’m probably being paranoid. He’s said many times that he’s not into any of that romance shit. Then again, normally I’m not either. But sometimes I wonder if he really does love me anymore. We still haven’t had sex. We mess around, and his therapist sessions have definitely helped him, but he still won’t go all the way. It’s the most agonizing thing ever. And since we haven’t been connected in a physical way like that, I feel like he’s growing more and more distant. And now he has that stupid bitch living with him!  
I feel that twisted feeling in my gut. I know it all too well; jealousy and anger. I decide that I need to know the truth, and I need to know it now, so I text him once more, expecting it to end badly as per usual.

Third Person  
Sal: Come to my room? I’m in 492.  
Brian can’t believe it. It’s midnight for god’s sake! And after all that Sal had been pulling the entire tour? Really?! But, nevertheless, he puts his robe on quietly and makes his way down to Sal’s room. Sal opens the door in his boxers, looking a little off. “You okay Sal?” Brian asks.  
“Yeah, I just…” He pulls Bri into a tight embrace and kisses him hard. “...needed to do that,” he says once they break apart.  
“That’s all you needed? A kiss?” His words hurt Sal. He didn’t need a kiss, he needs to be close to Brian once more. He needs to feel the connection that they once had in hopes that it’s still there. Why can’t Brian feel it?  
“I need you.” Sal’s starting to get an unexpected boner, so he uses it to his advantage, thinking that maybe he could get his lover in the mood. He quickly pulls Bri inside his room and begins to kiss him again; slower, and with care. When Q instinctively puts his hands gently on Sal’s waist, Sal takes that as a good sign, and slowly starts to swirl his hips. He backs Brian up against the door, which gives him more leverage and the swirling turns into grinding. Brian can’t help but let a little moan slip out. He’s starting to get excited and quickly forgets that he’s supposed to be irritated at the lateness of the hour. He even begins to move his own hips with Sal, and slips his tongue into his mouth. They stay like that for a couple minutes, almost dancing together, before finally neither of them can stand it any longer. Q shrugs off his robe and they both slip out of their boxers before plopping onto the bed in a mess of limbs and kisses. But suddenly, Sal stops.  
“What’s wrong?” Q asks.  
“Nothing. I just… Bri, I need you to try it.”  
“Try what?”  
“To have - y’know, sex.” Brian’s eyes widen and Sal quickly rushes on. “I just feel like it’s been so long. I feel like I’m going nuts and I can’t stand it. I love you, but I just can’t ignore this anymore. Can you please just try? It’s like your therapist said last week. We’ve figured out how to calm you down if you panic so we have nothing to lose from this point on.”  
“But,” Brian says quietly, “she also said that I should only do something if I feel comfortable doing it. And you don’t know what those panic attacks are like, Sal. How could you ask me to go through that again?”  
“I’m not, but damnit Bri, I love you. And not being able to really make love with you is driving me crazy.”  
“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” Brian asks, his eyes growing with sorrow. He knew he was hurting Sal. He knew it all along, and yet he couldn’t do anything about it.  
“I tried, but I didn’t want to rush you. That always made things worse.” Sal can’t look him in the eye. He feels horrible, but he simply can’t ignore his feelings about this any longer. He expected Brian to get upset and then they would start fighting again. They did that so often now, he wondered if it would ever stop. So when Brian pulled him into a heated kiss he was quite surprised. Brian gently pushes Sal so he’s laying on his back before slowly kissing down his body. Sal’s dick actually twitches in anticipation and his gut burns with desire. He feels Brian’s hot lips close around his tip so he closes his eyes as the burning sensation intensifies. It nearly grew painful as Q continued pleasuring him.  
“Babe,” his voice is weak and his breathing shallow. “I’m gonna blow…” But Q already knew Sal was close, and he also knows that if Sal cums this soon, there was sure to be another round afterwards. So he doesn’t exactly stop; rather, he repositions them so that they’re in the 69 position. If Sal was surprised before, he’s utterly shocked now, and gladly takes as much of his boyfriend as he can into his mouth.  
Sal begins thrusting upwards, causing Q to gag on him a little. And then suddenly Q is halfway down his throat which brings tears to Sal’s eyes, but he loves it. He missed it, even. So much so that it quickly topples him over the edge into that blissful state that makes him just want to scream “Fuck me already!” That is as soon as his mouth isn’t full of Q’s cock.  
Q gets off of Sal and repositions himself. However he still isn’t sure if he can go through with it. Sexual things have gotten easier for him, but the thought of full on sex still makes his pulse quicken; thud, even. And his lungs always tighten up, and the air always felt about ten degrees colder. He was sure that as soon as his tip touched Sal’s ass, he would be teleported back to that night. And that terrified him.  
Nonetheless, he had to try.  
“Oh fuck yes!” Sal actually screams once Q had finally entered him. “Right there! Yesss!”  
Q’s shocked. He just - He can’t - It’s not happening? He can still see Sal? What the actual fuck?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t even know what to think about this chapter. First Sal’s pissed, then he just HAS to have Q, and Q’s not even experiencing normal things so just like… WHAT?! There’s just all this confusion between them and I can’t even make sense of it. Would any of you care to clarify what’s going on in their brains right now?


	20. What Have I Done?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian and Sal sort of make up, and Brian comes home only to become even more exhausted.

Brian’s POV

“Oh god! Yes! FUCK!” Sal was being incredibly vocal as I pounded into him, sweating and panting like a dog. Before I knew it, there was a large sticky mess all over our stomachs, and I wasn’t even close to finishing. Thankfully I haven’t blacked out yet, however I just couldn’t enjoy the sex. It’s too cold, my heart is thumping too loudly. I can’t breathe. Can’t… breathe…  
Black.

“BRIAN!” I hear Sal yelling, and not in a good manner.  
“Wha…?” Fuck, my head hurts. Why does it hurt so much?  
“Jesus Christ, you scared me. I thought… did you…?” I open my eyes to see him above me, a worried expression creasing his forehead. I realize that I’m on my back and the material beneath me isn’t soft bed sheets.  
“Why am I on the floor?” I ask groggily.  
He helps hoist me up onto the bed in a sitting position before answering. “I’m not really sure. You passed out again and hit your head when you fell. You okay babe? Did you… did you see anything?”  
“Not that I remember.”  
“Well at least you’re not freaking out.”  
Neither of us really know what to do. We each take a shower; separately since I’m not up for anymore action after that. And I don’t want to go back to my room and wake Joe, so I stay with Sal. As I lay there, pondering tonight's’ events (there’s no way I’m going to be able to sleep) I wonder… what exactly happened? I blacked out, but I didn’t like… y’know, see shit. I did think about that night, but it didn’t take over entirely. Just normal thoughts, no visions, I guess you could say.  
I was worried Sal would still be upset with me. I got him off, but the favor was impossible to return. Would that upset him? Are these tiny, baby steps that we’re taking going to continue to infuriate him? I sure hope not. He’s my boyfriend, my best friend, and I can’t stand being the reason that he’s angry. I don’t tell him (or anyone) this, but it often depresses me. Sometimes I feel so fucking worthless that I…  
Let’s not talk about that.

Sal’s POV  
I awake the next morning with a burning sensation in my gut just like last night, and it’s because, I come to find out, that Bri has settled himself between my legs under the covers. Through my hazy vision I see his head bobbing the material up and down and within seconds of waking up I explode with a loud, throaty moan.  
No words that can come close to explaining how amazing it is to orgasm as you’re waking up even exist. Especially where Brian Quinn is involved.  
Not a single drop of my essence is wasted as my lover sucks me dry. Then suddenly the blanket is thrown off the bed and he clumsily gets up with a dorky smile.  
“Do you know how amazing you are?” I ask him, in awe of his near-naked glory.  
He just simply shrugs and starts looking for his robe. As he’s doing this I continue to watch him. It doesn’t look like he slept a wink last night. He has bags under his eyes and he’s unusually delirious. “Are you okay? How’d you sleep?” Again, he shrugs. I don’t press him and he leaves as I begin to dress. Did I do something wrong? My mind goes into overdrive as I desperately try to think of a reason that he could be behaving this way and losing sleep, until I finally think of it. He didn’t climax last night, did he? No, instead he passed out again. When will this ever stop?

Brian’s POV

Sal became pissy again for the remainder of the tour, and for the life of me I couldn’t figure out why. I was done. I did what he wanted, didn’t I? Didn’t I…?  
Maybe there was something wrong with me.  
No, there is something wrong with me.  
I couldn’t keep my head in the game. I forgot my lines on stage and the guys had to cover it up for me. I was silent when alone and with other members of the crew, unless asked a question. And I was often off in my own little world so they would have to repeat the question before I could answer. When I roomed with one of the guys or another crew member I never said anything, and I hardly slept. In fact I think I kept the others awake, judging from the dark circles under everyone’s eyes.  
And then there was the drinking.  
If you’re ever wondering if I’m upset, you can just look at the alcohol bottles and you’ll know. When we went out to bars I isolated myself and sat alone. Not only did this keep fans away (they usually only recognize us if we’re all together) but it allowed me to drown myself without the others knowing just how much booze I had consumed. And for some reason they hardly ever bothered me. I don’t know if they just thought I could use some alone time or what, but I didn’t care either way.  
That’s a lie.  
Of course I care. But I told myself that I didn’t, and it seemed to work for the most part.  
And finally, after the longest few weeks of my life, I finally landed back in New York and made my way home to my cats and baby mama.  
And holy shit had she gotten huge during these past four weeks!  
“Hey Q! How was your trip?” She greets me from the couch as the cats attack me with love. After I sufficiently gave them lots of attention I dropped my bags, kicked off my shoes, and plopped down on the couch with a huge, exhausted sigh.  
“Horrible.”  
“Oh.” Her face fell as she heard exactly what she wasn’t expecting to hear. “Was Sal being a jerk?”  
“I… well I don’t know, it could be my fault.”  
“What do you mean by that?”  
For some reason I found myself just spilling everything to her. I don’t know, I just felt comfortable with her. “Well, I thought we made up about half way through the trip. I spent the night in his hotel room but after that I was back to square one, almost. He wasn’t snapping at everyone anymore but I could tell there was something up.”  
“How the hell could you have caused that? If he wants to be upset for some stupid reason that he won’t explain then that’s his own damn fault.”  
I shake my head to myself and fetch a beer from the fridge. Actually I grab the whole pack, as I’m planning to drink myself to sleep again upstairs.  
“Oh no you don’t mister!” The case is yanked out of my grasp, shoved back in the fridge, and the door slams to reveal an intimidating Faith standing there. She’s still obviously sick; her cheeks are a bit hollow and her skin has almost a greenish tint to it, but she still looks like she could make your life a living hell if she wanted to.  
“What the hell was that for?”  
“You are not drinking your sorrows away!”  
“And why not, huh?” I suddenly get very defensive and a little angry, if I’m being completely honest. “It’s my house and my life, I can drink if I want.”  
“Because if you do, you’ll do it around him!” She yells, pointing at her large stomach.  
“Oh fuck off, no I won’t!”  
“YES YOU WILL! And don’t tell me to fuck off!”  
“What is with you right now?!” Why is she reacting this way? She didn’t have a problem with me drinking before; why now?  
“You can’t drink away your problems! Trust me, I know! And I swear, I’ll come beat your ass if you raise our son as a drunken bastard, so help me god! If you raise him the way I was raised -!” She suddenly cuts herself off, as if she was about to say something she was going to sincerely regret. I wish I was smart enough to do the same.  
“Well maybe if you weren’t being such a bitch I wouldn’t feel the need to do so!” Like I said, I wish I didn’t say it. And not because I suddenly had a red hand print across my left cheek, but mostly because moments later she was stomping her way out of my house, backpack in hand and tears staining her cheeks.  
Holy hell, what have I done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, what turmoil. What do you guys think Faith almost told Brian? Why is she so against him drinking around their son? I mean it’s not necessarily a good thing to begin with, but do you think she’s overreacting or being rational?  
> Are Brian and Sal slowly becoming close again, like they were before?


	21. Dirty in the Bathroom

Brian’s POV

Faith didn’t come back that night. Or the next, or the next. It’s actually been a week or so. She had her phone turned off or it was dead, and no one knew where she was; not the guys, or any of her old co workers. This worries me so much that I nearly got into a car crash several times and I have a hard time sleeping.  
On the bright side, the tension between Sal and I seems to be lessening. Or maybe I’m too wrapped up in everything else that I just don’t notice if anything is wrong. My life really seems like a huge pile of shit right now.  
“Maybe she just needs some time to herself,” Murr reasoned on set one day after I explained everything. It’s extremely hot, what with it being the middle of summer, so we decided to pack it up and find an indoor location.  
“She fucking slapped me for even thinking about getting drunk. Why would she not talk to me for so long simply for drinking?”  
“Tell us again what happened,” Joe demanded. So I did, and he sighed. “Do you know anything about her past? Maybe she’s had bad experiences with drinking. Maybe Simon was always drunk.” I flinch at the mention of my rapist’s name. “Oh, sorry. But seriously, it could be PTSD or some shit. And you called her a bitch. Women don’t like that, y’know.”  
“I know that. But… I don’t know...”  
“It seems like a logical explanation to me,” Murr stated. The three of us went back and forth with this idea. It wasn’t until Joe pointed out that Sal had remained completely silent that I even realized that he was just over my right shoulder.  
“Sal, you’ve been quiet, what’s eaten’ ya’?”  
“Nothing, it’s just…”  
“What’s wrong Sally?” I ask him, concerned by the dreadful look on his beautiful face.  
“She stayed with me.”  
“What?” He had said it too quiet for Murr, who was standing opposite him, to hear.  
“She stayed with me the night she left your house.”  
“You didn’t…” Joe begins to ask, his eyes going wide. I was thinking the exact same thing. They better not have done it. I swear to god...  
“I was driving home and found her sitting on the curb, barely able to breathe from her pregnancy. I tried to get her to go back to your house, Q, but she wouldn’t. She actually tried walking away again until I said she could stay with me, that way she wouldn’t be out in the open where she could get really sick again. Or hurt. She fell asleep on my bed, I slept on the couch, and the next morning she left.”  
“That’s it? Do you know where?” I ask in a near desperate manner.  
“No. She didn’t say anything. Just got in a cab and left. I assumed she was going back to your place.”  
“Why didn’t you call me?”  
He shrugs as if it was the least important thing on his mind. “She didn’t seem like she really wanted to talk to you.”  
“Yeah but why are you just now telling me this? She’s been missing for a fucking week and you don’t tell me that you’ve seen her?!” My hands are starting to shake from anger and I can feel my face heat up; if that’s even possible considering how hot it already is outside.  
“Brian, calm down, we’ll find her buddy,” Joe says.  
“Don’t tell me to calm down!” I yell at Joe.  
“Q,” Sal says, drawing my attention back to him. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I didn’t say anything. I just… I don’t, okay? I thought she would come back and… well I…”  
“Don’t give me bullshit explanations, Salvatore! Just spit it out!” I can feel all eyes - including the crew’s and passerby’s - on me and Sal.  
He looks at me, sheepish and embarrassed, and maybe a little fearful. “I thought that maybe if she left you… I’d get you back.”  
Those words stumped me. Get me back? “Get me back? Sal, I never left.”  
“Is everything okay here?” Pete, a guy from the crew, comes up and puts his hand on my shoulder and looks at each of us in turn. Joe makes a stupid joke to make it seem as though the yelling was just some friendly banter. Pete takes the bait and informs us that we’re heading to a mall in Manhattan and that we all needed to be there in two hours sharp. We nod and he leaves.  
“At least we know she wasn’t kidnapped or anything, Q. Now you two make up before we get there or this whole day is going to suck ass,” Murr says before he and Joe walk in the direction of Joe’s car. I begin to turn and am stopped by Sal grabbing my arm.  
“Can we get lunch?” he blurts out almost too quick for me to understand.  
“Sure,” I say bitterly.  
We meet at a cute little family owned bar and grille that we go to frequently when we’re in this part of town and order our usuals. It’s silent at our table for a while after the waitress leaves and Sal doesn’t stop biting his lip or bouncing his knee. Something’s clearly bothering him.  
“What is it with you?” I demand, startling him.  
“W-what?”  
“You’re nervous as hell and haven’t even said anything about the issue here.”  
“Oh… I… well about earlier… fuck Quinn, stop doing that!”  
“Stop doing what?” I ask, totally confused.  
“That thing with your eyebrows. It’s… hot…” I just stare at him. “Damnit! Come here!” He grabs my arm and yanks me down a hallway and into the bathroom. It’s just a single toilet, sink, mirror and trashcan, but at least it’s really clean. The both of us hate public bathrooms; which is exactly why I’m completely confused as to why we’re in here. That is until Sal’s lips are engulfing my own and his tongue is practically half way down my throat. I feel it slide against my own and my insides turn to putty as I close my eyes; just letting it all happen. He backs me up against the sink and I suddenly feel cool porcelain against my ass and my shorts pile up at my ankles.  
I watch Sal drop to his knees and spit on my cock before he gives it a couple strokes. The saliva helps his hand move freely and I feel myself harden slightly more. “God, you’re so big for me,” he whispers just before sliding his tongue over my balls, up my shaft and all the way to my head.  
“Fuck!” I cry to the ceiling.  
“Shh, they’ll hear you.” That seems like a pretty stupid thing to say when he makes it nearly impossible to stay quiet as he gently sucks my tip.  
“Oh god babe…” I moan. “Sal… just…” My voice gets weaker and weaker as he takes in more and more; his tongue gliding up and down my cock, his lips nice and tight around me, and his throat keeps rubbing against my head just right… Fuck… This man is going to be the death of me.  
His head begins to bob and when it does I instinctively curl my fingers in his hair, my other hand gripping the sink for support, and I start thrusting just ever so slightly. He goes faster. My grip gets tighter. My breathing gets heavier, and my eyes roll back. I can’t take much more of this.  
One more millisecond passes and he does this weird swirl thing with his tongue, and the next thing I know he’s swallowing my semen.  
I barely have two seconds to catch my breath before he’s stealing it away with more kisses. I can taste myself on him, and that makes me smile. “Can I fuck you?” He asks quickly between fervent kisses.  
I think I said yes. It sounded more like mumbled gibberish but I’m pretty sure I said yes, and he definitely took it as a yes judging from the fact that he spins me around and bends me over the sink. I feel something inch its way inside of me; not his dick, probably his finger. Like so many times before, I try to relax to make it easier, and it seems to help him get it in faster.  
After a few seconds of this he removes his finger and I hear him unzip his jeans before his warm member is brushing against me. I shiver at the contact, and he slowly pushes himself in to give me time to adjust. He stops as soon as he’s completely inside of me, and I let out a low moan that I didn’t know I had been holding. He quickly jerks in and out once, causing me to gasp, then twice, and then he starts a steady rhythm. In and out, in and out. He picks up a little speed, and with the speed comes the pounding; so much so that I’m practically clawing at the sink just to find an ounce of support. I accidentally turn the water on but to be honest I don’t give a shit.  
The both of us are panting in time with Sal’s thrusts, with the occasional slip of a moan. I glance in the mirror just above my head and I see him staring, gazing at my reflection. There’s so much lust in his eyes… It makes me weak in the knees and I’m suddenly afraid that I won’t be able to continue standing.  
“You like that, Bri?” he asks in a deep, husky voice. God, I’ve missed his dirty talk.  
“Yes,” I whimper. Air was pretty hard to come by at this point.  
“How about now?” And with that he goes faster and harder; so hard that I nearly smack my head on the mirror.  
“FUCK!”  
*Bang bang!* Someone’s knocking on the door. “Hurry up, I have to take a piss!” said someone yells.  
Sal quickly yanks me up so that my back is flush against his chest and my head is resting on his shoulder, and he covers my mouth. He never stops jerking his hips into me. When he speaks, he whispers against my ear to send a humming feeling through my entire body. “Don’t scream.” Well… too late.


	22. Intimacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian continues trying to figure out what Sal is hiding, and the arguing only gets worse.

Sal’s POV

It felt fucking amazing to finally be really intimate with Brian again. And this time, I think he was also into it rather than just going through the motions.  
We had to get our lunch to go and eat it on the way to set and we were still late, but it was all worth it to me. Joe and Murr kept giving us weird looks, like they knew what went down but I think they were happy for us. I know I was.  
The bit that we were shooting was “can you help me find my wife,” but Q decided to change it up and made it “can you help me find my husband” and it gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. Of course Joe had to make it weird and make Q say “he has a great set of tits” but it was fucking hilarious anyways.  
When the shoot was finally over and we were walking to our cars Q came up to me and stopped me just as I was unlocking mine. “Sal, we still need to talk.” And with that, my good mood was crushed. I should’ve known he wouldn’t let the subject of Faith drop that easily.  
“Q, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I honestly didn’t know that it was that big of a deal. I know she’s carrying your kid but she is her own person. She can do whatever she wants.”  
“I know Sal, but… please.”  
“Please what?” I asked, a bit irritated. “I don’t know where she went, her phone is off, and I have no idea how to find her. I’m just as clueless as you. But maybe, just maybe, she needs some time to herself. Maybe she’s not as helpless as you make her out to be!” I didn’t mean for my words to sound so harsh, but goddamnit his obsession with her is infuriating!  
He just stood there at a complete loss for words, so I opened my door and got in the car. Something was keeping me from slamming my door shut; Q’s arm. He was holding the door open.  
“Sal I didn’t mean to -- please don’t drive off. I don’t want us to be like this.”  
“Well then maybe you should revert all the attention you give her to your fucking boyfriend.” This time he lets me slam my door and I screech out of the parking lot.

Joe’s POV

“BUT DID YOU SEE SAL’S FACE?!” I yelled through tears and laughter. Murray and I were still cracking up over today’s shenanigans and would have continued to do so if Murr didn’t suddenly stop me in my tracks; his facial expression the complete opposite of what it had been mere seconds before. Worry and concern.  
“What’s up with Q?” I looked out into the parking lot. It was easy to find his bright red jeep anywhere, but what I saw leaning up against it was definitely worthy of concern. Q had one hand continuously rubbing his eyes and his mind was clearly elsewhere because he jumped when we walked up and greeted him. His eyes were red and I wasn’t entirely sure it was from rubbing them. “What’s up man?” Murr asked him.  
“Am I a horrible boyfriend?” Q blurts out. We both were stunned and didn’t really know what to say. I knew he and Sal had been having some issues but I thought they made up today at lunch. Guess not. “Never mind, I already know the fuckin’ answer,” he says and turns slightly away.  
“Bri, you’re a great guy,” I start, “and a wonderful boyfriend. I think that Sal is just a little…”  
“He needs more attention. He won’t admit it, but he’s pretty clingy. That’s just how he is,” Murr finishes for me.  
“I thought I gave him that attention,” Q replies, his voice beginning to rise. “I try to give him everything.”  
Murr and I glance at each other; again, not knowing what to do or say. This situation was so fragile. Q clearly cares about Sal but he cares about Faith too. It might be in a different way, but that’s not how Sal sees it. “Just give him some time, Q. He needs to get used to having her around,” I say.  
“But she’s not fuckin’ around!” Q bellows. “And he’s had plenty of time!”  
“C’mon Q, let’s meet at your house and talk about this there,” Murr says, trying to get away from any prying ears. A couple people had already stopped and started taking pictures of us from afar. We don’t need the Jokers’ image ruined.  
“Fuck that! I’m going to Sal’s. This isn’t over.” And with that, Q jumps into his car.

Sal’s POV

I heard banging on my front door and immediately knew who it would be. However the volume was concerning. He’s scary when he gets angry. But he wouldn’t stop slamming his fist on the door, so I got up and opened it a crack only to have him push it open so hard I fell to the floor with an audible ‘thump’. “What the fuck?!” I yell.  
“Get me a beer,” he demands on his way to the couch.  
I stand up and close the door; rubbing my sore ass. Hoping that the alcohol will calm him down, I went and grabbed the entire unopened case that I had just bought on my way home. I was planning on drinking it all myself but y’know, shit happens. “Here,” I say as I drop the case and a bottle opener down on the coffee table in front of him. He instantaneously snatches up a bottle and rips off the cap. The cap was discarded into the abyss behind him as he chugged on the cool liquid. Some dribbled down his chin and disappeared into his beard. Gross.  
Two more beers disappeared as he sat and I stood watching him in silence. If he kept drinking like this I knew that it would hit him hard all at once, so I sat next to him and slid the other half of the case out of his reach. “What did you come over here for?” I asked him.  
The bottom of a bottle came into contact with my table with a loud ‘thud’. “I love you Sal. God, I fuckin’ love the shit out of you.”  
“I love you too.”  
“No, I really fuckin’ love you.”  
“I heard you the first time, Bri.”  
“Then why aren’t we the same anymore?”  
The question stumped me. He was right; it wasn’t the same anymore. But I didn’t know how to fix it. I looked into his deep brown eyes. Those eyes held so many stories; so many hardships. So many heartbreaks… They moved closer to me until I could see my reflection in them, and then they closed as his lips brushed mine. Slowly more pressure was applied to the kiss. His hand rested on my thigh. The other reached up to caress my cheek.  
He whispered, “Love me Sal.”  
“I do love you,” I whispered back.  
“Don’t ever leave me.”  
I deepened the kiss, ending the conversation. My tongue slipped out and he met me halfway. The warmth from his mouth seeped down my throat all the way to my hardening cock, which he was now gently massaging. God, I fucking missed this. The intimacy. The love. The tenderness. He was finally showing me all of that once again. But I knew it wouldn’t last.  
“Brian…” He kept kissing me. “Brian,” I said, more forcefully this time, and he looked at me. “I-I…” My voice was cracking. “I love you but…” My eyes teared up.  
“Sal?” He knew something was up. He probably knew what I was going to say before I even said it. I wasn’t planning on doing this; not now, not later, not ever. But I just…  
“I can’t do this anymore.”  
His eyes darkened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What’s going to happen? What does Sal mean? How do you think Q will react?


	23. Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chaos. Just Chaos.

Sal’s POV

He didn’t say anything. Nothing changed except his eyes, and that really scared me. But I knew I couldn’t back out. It was killing me.  
“What did you say?” he finally asked in a low, almost threatening voice.  
A single tear dripped down my cheek. “I said… I can’t do this anymore. We’re done. I love you, I really do. But…”  
“Is it the sex? Do you want to have more sex?! Is that what you fuckin’ want?!?” He shouted.  
“Yeah, but it’s not just that-”  
“Then I’ll give you more goddamn sex!” For the second time today our pants were undone, but this time I was terrified. There was this glint in Q’s eyes, and an almost possessive look on his face. I was genuinely afraid of the man I love, and it was the worst feeling in the world.  
“Q, stop it!”  
“NO! You need to stay with me!” And with that he plunged his dick all the way into my asshole, and I actually screamed from the pain. He hadn’t been inside of me for a while and he didn’t use lube, so it hurt like a fucking bitch. He started thrusting in and out at an impossible speed and that only prolonged and heightened the extreme agony, making me cry out more. “SHUT UP!” he bellowed. “You’re mine, and you always will be!”  
I screamed out the only sentence that had any hope of getting him to stop. “I FUCKED HER!” It accomplished it’s goal. The pain lessened to a dull throb and I was able to feel something trickle down my legs. It was red. I looked back into his face, but I couldn’t read it. Was he horrified? Perhaps just angry. I couldn’t tell. “I brought her back to my house. She was upset at you, upset at herself, she had no one to turn to, and being pregnant made her super horny. And I was fucking horny because you couldn’t ever fucking satisfy me!”  
He got up and fixed himself. I got a glimpse of the look on his face as he turned and left. Betrayal.

Brian’s POV

I left.  
I didn’t know where I was going, but I was going as fast as I could.  
People were on the sidewalk but I didn’t see them. There were shouts and car horns but I couldn’t hear them. I couldn’t breathe but I still plunged into the darkness of the night. The darkness of my mind. I could feel it physically pushing on me, compressing me until the only thing I felt throughout my being was pain. It forced me to keep going, and it kept me from seeing it...  
And then… just more pain.  
A pounding in my head deafened me. Dark red blotches blinded me. Pain coursed through my body as if it had become my blood, scorching me from the inside out. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t make any sense of anything. I knew nothing but pain and then just… black.

A little bit later that night  
Murr’s POV

“What the hell?” I wondered aloud.  
“Must be a wreck up ahead,” the cabby said in his thick Brooklyn accent. “Traffic’s backed up, gonna take awhile to get you home.”  
I rolled the back window down, undid my seatbelt, and popped my head out. There was no way we were going to be moving anytime soon, so I wasn’t worried about getting hurt. “Looks like a semi and two other cars - holy shit it looks really bad - wait… THAT’S BRIAN’S JEEP!” I quickly threw some cash at the driver and bolted down the highway, weaving in between cars and the ever-growing crowd of bystanders. I was never super religious but in those agonizing moments of just running I was praying so fucking hard that it was someone else’s bright red jeep. That sounds horrible, and I would never wish anything this horrible on anyone, but at the same time I would do anything to keep Brian on this earth.  
But it didn’t look good. And the stories from the news reporters and other people that witnessed the crash didn’t sound good either.  
“He was going the wrong way!” “Must’ve been drunk.” “Never seen anything like it! They just hit head on!” “And then the semi-” “I swear, he barrel rolled the length of a football field!”  
Needless to say, I was panicking. I needed to know if Q was alright or I was gonna loose my shit. I got as close to his jeep as I possibly could - which was very far away from the semi and the mini van - but I was blocked by police blockades. I was, however, able to at least see the jeep. It was on it’s side and so beat up. Totaled. There was no way in heaven or hell that anyone would be able to drive that ever again. A team of firemen (some of which used to actually work with Q when he was a fireman) were trying to use hydraulics to cut pieces of the frame off to get to the unconscious body. I say unconscious because I refuse to believe that he might be dead; if it is him.


End file.
